With Muslim divorce rates climbing to an alarming 40% in North America and the national average even higher, the institution of marriage is under enormous strain. Dr. Basher, author of over 12 books and a family counselor with 35 years of experience, joins The Deen Show to share practical, tried-and-proven wisdom for building a blissful marriage based on the prophetic model. This is not abstract theory but real guidance drawn from decades of counseling real couples with real problems.
Why Marriages Fall Apart
According to an empirical study by Professor Ilyas Bayunus, the divorce rate among Muslim families in North America was approximately 32% in 2002 and has since risen to an estimated 40% or higher. Dr. Basher identifies several root causes: couples fail to understand the true objective of marriage in Islam, they do not prepare themselves for this critical life commitment, they neglect the process of selecting a compatible spouse, and most critically, they stop nurturing the gift of love (mawaddah and rahmah) that Allah places between spouses on the day of their wedding.
After two or three months, after the honeymoon is over, problems start happening. Why? Because we don’t nurture the gift of Allah. Marriage is a gift from Allah, one of His signs, and like any gift it must be cared for or it will be lost.
Keys to a Blissful Marriage
- Family atmosphere is the most important factor affecting the formation of a child’s personality; parents are responsible for creating it
- Modeling is the most important form of parenting, which is why the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) was sent as a living role model for all aspects of life
- The book “Blissful Marriage” contains over 13 real case studies with common phrases like “my wife talks too much” and “he’s never home,” giving readers practical analysis and recommendations they can immediately relate to
- Mawaddah (loving mercy) is far more than romantic love; it is a comprehensive bond that brings out the best in both spouses and must be actively cultivated
Mawaddah is much more than just love. It is a comprehensive kind of love that brings the best out of the couple. Allah says: “Those who believe and act righteously, Allah will bring this mawaddah between them.”
A successful marriage begins with a commitment to continuous self-improvement. As Muslims who have submitted their will to the Creator, we should be in a constant state of growth, becoming better spouses, better parents, and better human beings each day. The blueprint for this growth is found in the Quran and the Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), and resources like Dr. Basher’s workshops and books provide the practical tools to implement that blueprint in our daily lives.
