Each February, millions of people exchange red roses, heart-shaped cards, and chocolates — most without pausing to ask the most important question: where does Valentine’s Day actually come from? In a revealing episode of The Deen Show, historian and Islamic scholar Dr. Abdullah Hakim Quick — author of Holiday Myths and PhD graduate of the University of Toronto — traces the true origins of Valentine’s Day, exposing a celebration rooted not in love and romance but in ancient Roman paganism, sexual permissiveness, and the gradual erosion of moral boundaries. For Muslims committed to faith, spirituality, and Islamic guidance, understanding those roots is not a matter of being joyless or out of touch — it is a matter of informed, conscious submission to the One Creator.
From Lupercalia to Valentine: The Pagan Roots Behind the Romance
Long before greeting cards and chocolate boxes made February 14th a commercial juggernaut, the Romans observed a festival called Lupercalia — a pagan rite honouring their gods Pan and Juno, centred on fertility and sexual pairing as winter transitioned into spring. Young women’s names were drawn by lot, and men would claim sexual partnerships for the festival period. The Greek counterpart to this tradition was rooted in Eros — the god whose very name gives us the modern word erotica — and it is from this tradition that the imagery of Cupid, arrows, and hearts derives. When Christianity spread through Rome, the name of Valentine — a religious priest executed on February 14th, 270 CE, for secretly marrying young couples against imperial edict — was placed atop this pre-existing pagan festival. The result was a brilliantly deceptive fusion: spiritual-sounding packaging wrapped around a tradition of unchecked sexual permissiveness. As Dr. Quick observes, this same pattern repeats throughout the Western festive calendar: December 25th carries the residue of the Roman Saturnalia, and January takes its name from the two-faced pagan god Janus — each holiday carrying the footprint of nature-worship and pre-Islamic ritual beneath a veneer of holiness. The Lupercalia concept is not ancient history confined to textbooks; it is alive in every Hollywood romance subplot, every cartoon character who “falls in love,” and every medium that subtly normalises erotica as the central organising principle of human relationships. What begins as a pink hijab or an innocent card in a school corridor follows a well-worn cultural path — one that history, scholarship, and lived experience all confirm leads somewhere far less innocent.
- Valentine’s Day traces directly to the Roman Lupercalia, a pagan fertility and sexual-pairing festival dedicated to the gods Pan and Juno
- The word Cupid derives from the Greek god Eros, root of the word erotica — the same concept that saturates modern film, television, and advertising
- Saint Valentine was a Christian priest executed for protecting young people’s right to marry — his name was later placed on a pre-existing pagan ceremony he would likely have condemned
- December 25th, January 1st, and February 14th all originate in pagan nature-worship calendars, not in any monotheistic revelation
- Even seemingly innocent participation — exchanging gifts, wearing red, or selling Valentine’s Day goods — constitutes tashabbuh (imitation of non-Muslims) and falls under the scholarly prohibition
- Islam provides its own divinely sanctioned celebrations — Eid al-Fitr and Eid al-Adha — which are spiritually grounding, community-building, and free from the moral ambiguity of borrowed festivals
“Festivals are part of sharee’ah, clear way and rituals… There is no difference between their participating in the festival and their participating in all other rituals. Joining in fully with the festival is joining in with kufr… Indeed, festivals are one of the most unique features that distinguish various religions and among their most prominent symbols, so joining in with them is joining in with the most characteristic and prominent symbols of kufr.”
— Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah, Iqtida’ al-Siraat al-Mustaqeem (1/207)
What Islam Actually Teaches About Love, Boundaries, and Human Dignity
The Islamic position on Valentine’s Day is not a rejection of love or affection — it is a deeply reasoned stance rooted in a sophisticated understanding of human nature and the long-term consequences of normalising unregulated desire. The Quran does not simply prohibit adultery and fornication; it says do not come near them — a calibration that Dr. Quick identifies as profoundly wise. Killing, he notes, is not a natural human impulse; every healthy instinct recoils from it. But sexuality is woven into the very fabric of human biology, which is precisely why the divine warning is placed at the approach, not merely at the act itself. Islam’s framework is not one of denial but of structure and honour: sexuality, channelled within the covenant of marriage, is described as a beautiful, permissible, and spiritually rewardable expression of love. Outside that covenant, the consequences accumulate — unwanted pregnancy, sexually transmitted disease, broken families, and the psychological damage that falls disproportionately on women. Dr. Quick points to the measurable social evidence: in parts of North America, STIs have reached near-endemic levels among young people, and rates of “unwanted” pregnancies reveal a culture that celebrates desire while discarding responsibility. The Islamic alternative is not restriction for its own sake — it is the prophetic model of channelling the energy of youth toward education, physical development, and community, before entering sexuality through the protected gateway of marriage. Multiple senior scholars — including Shaykh Ibn Uthaymeen, Shaykh Ibn Jibreen, and the Standing Committee for Islamic Research and Ifta — have issued clear, unanimous rulings that celebrating Valentine’s Day is impermissible in any form, including exchanging gifts, wearing its symbolic colours, or facilitating its commerce. Crucially, none of these scholars end their guidance with condemnation alone. “Allah forgives all sins,” Dr. Quick reminds us, drawing from the Quran’s own assurance. “There is no sin too great for the Creator to forgive — we have to be sincere, turn to Allah, make the intention, and try to change our lifestyle.”
“Celebrating Valentine’s Day is not permissible for a number of reasons: it is an innovated festival for which there is no basis in Islam; it promotes love and infatuation; and it calls for hearts to be preoccupied with foolish matters that are contrary to the way of the righteous salaf. It is not permissible on this day to do any of the things that are characteristic of this festival, whether that has to do with food, drinks, clothing, exchanging gifts or anything else. The Muslim should be proud of his religion and should not be a weak character who follows every Tom, Dick and Harry.”
— Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen, Majmoo’ Fataawa al-Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (16/199)
For the Muslim who has already engaged with Valentine’s Day — or for the sincere seeker who is only now beginning to understand the guidance their faith offers — the message of this conversation is ultimately one of hope, clarity, and purpose. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ reminded us that “every people has its festival, and this is ours,” pointing to Eid al-Fitr and Eid al-Adha as the two divinely sanctioned celebrations of the Muslim ummah — occasions that nourish the soul, strengthen community, and express gratitude to the Creator rather than chase the hollow promise of commercial romance. The antidote to a culture saturated with erotica — what Dr. Quick aptly calls “a bottomless pit” that perpetually promises satisfaction and perpetually fails to deliver it — is not joylessness but clarity of purpose: to know who created you, to understand what He asks of you, and to organise your life, your relationships, and your celebrations accordingly. Islam does not diminish love; it elevates it. It offers love in its fullest, most dignified expression — within a covenant that protects both partners, honours the family, and pleases the One who fashioned the human heart. Before you buy the roses this February, ask yourself: whose pleasure am I truly seeking?
