Divorce rates are rising, families are breaking apart, and children are suffering the consequences. In this important episode of The Deen Show, Imam Mustafa Zade, author of “The Lies About Muhammad” and an experienced Imam in New Jersey, shares real-life examples of marriages that fell apart because spouses failed to appreciate the blessings Allah had already given them. His practical advice is a wake-up call for every Muslim couple struggling to keep their family together.
The Danger of Ingratitude in Marriage
Imam Mustafa shares the story of a husband who divorced his wife because she did not wear enough makeup, only to marry a “high-maintenance” woman who refused to cook, care for the children, or manage the household. He also describes a wife who left her hardworking husband because he did not spend enough time with her, only to find that her second husband wanted her to work outside the home and provided far less. In both cases, the root problem was the same: ingratitude for the blessings Allah had already provided.
“You need to be grateful first for what you have before you ask for more. Allah says: if you count the blessings of Allah, you will not be able to. They are countless, but people are ungrateful.”
Islamic Guidelines for a Strong Marriage
- Focus on the good qualities of your spouse rather than fixating on their shortcomings
- Beware of outside influences — in-laws, friends, and cultural pressures that push couples toward divorce
- Seek advice from qualified Islamic scholars, not just family members who may be emotionally biased
- Remember the Islamic principle: “Be his servant and he will be your slave” — mutual respect and service strengthen the bond
“When you need a heart surgeon, you go to a great one — not your brother who is a mechanic. Same thing with marriage: seek counsel from scholars who know the guidelines of Allah.”
The family is the foundation of a healthy society in Islam, and keeping it together requires effort, patience, and above all, gratitude to Allah. When calamities arise in marriage, the response should be patience, not an impulsive rush to divorce. Husbands and wives each have roles and responsibilities ordained by the Creator, and when both partners submit to Allah’s guidance and appreciate each other’s contributions, the home becomes a place of tranquility (sakinah). For more resources, visit theliesaboutmuhammad.com.
