Can Boys and Girls Be Friends?
Many young girls correspond with boys, and they write in their letters things that I would not dare to write or mention to you. This phenomenon is widespread in this society. Hence we earnestly hope that you can do us the favour of writing to us a letter in which you tell us the answer to this problem, with evidence (daleel) and proof. I have told many of them about how serious this matter is, but I cannot do much and I do not have deep knowledge, so I failed to convince them despite my repeated attempts.
Praise be to Allaah.
One of the essential aims of sharee’ah is to protect people’s lineage and honour. For this reason, Allaah has forbidden zinaa and ordered that it be punished by whipping or stoning. And He has forbidden the means that may lead to zinaa, such as a man being alone with a non-mahram woman, sinful looks, and women travelling without a mahram or going out of their homes wearing perfume and make-up, clothed yet naked, seeking thus to attract young men and provoke their desires and tempt them away from their religious commitment. This also includes a man speaking to a woman in a deceitful manner, and her speaking to him in a soft voice so as to tempt him and provoke his desire, so that he will fall in her trap – whether this is done in person, over the phone, via correspondence or in some other manner. For this reason, Allaah forbade the wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), even though they were good and pure, to make a display of themselves in the manner of the first Jaahiliyyah, or to speak in soft voices so as to provoke the desire of those in whose hearts was a disease; and He commanded them to speak in a manner that was honourable. Allaah said (interpretation of the meaning):
“O wives of the Prophet! You are not like any other women. If you keep your duty (to Allâh), then be not soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease (of hypocrisy, or evil desire for adultery) should be moved with desire, but speak in an honourable manner.
And stay in your houses, and do not display yourselves like that of the times of ignorance…” [al-Ahzaab 33:31-32]
So Muslim youths must fear Allaah, protect their chastity and lower their gaze. They should refrain from speaking or writing any obscene words of immoral romance or deceit. Muslim girls are obliged to do likewise, to remain chaste and not to go out wearing make-up, clothed yet naked.
It was reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There are two types of the people of Hell that I have not seen yet: men with whips like the tails of cattle, with which they strike the people, and women who are clothed yet naked, walking with an enticing gait, with something on their heads that looks like the humps of camels, leaning to one side. They will never enter Paradise or even smell its fragrance, although its fragrance can be detected from such and such a distance.” (Narrated by Ahmad and by Muslim in al-Saheeh).
If young men and women obey Allaah and His Messenger, and rise above worldly matters, keeping away from fitnah and sources of suspicion, that will be better for them, purer for their hearts and better for their reputations and their societies. And Allaah is the Source of strength.
From Fataawaa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah, 12/381-381