Understanding and communicating with your spouse is truly an art — and like any art, it requires learning, practice, and patience. Dr. Ekram Beshir, who along with her husband has authored numerous books on parenting and marriage, joins The Deen Show to share practical wisdom from decades of building a successful Muslim marriage. Their journey from personal happiness to teaching other couples began with a simple realization: everyone deserves to live happily, and Allah promises in the Quran that whoever does good deeds as a believer will be granted a good life.
Communication Is the Foundation of a Happy Marriage
“Sometimes people think ‘he should know what pleases me’ or ‘she should know what makes me happy’ — but that’s not how it works. We need to learn to talk more, tell each other what we expect in a calm way, and not bottle everything up until we explode.”
One of the most common mistakes couples make is assuming their spouse can read their mind. Dr. Ekram explains that each person knows themselves better than anyone else — what bothers them, what brings them joy, what they need. But if they never communicate these things clearly and calmly, frustration builds until it becomes an explosion. Islam teaches us that marriage should be a source of tranquility (sakina), mercy (rahma), and love (mawaddah) — but achieving these requires deliberate effort, honest communication, and a willingness to understand your spouse’s unique emotional language.
- Allah promises in the Quran that believers who do good deeds will be granted a good life — this includes working on your marriage
- The art of marriage requires learning to communicate expectations calmly, not waiting until frustration boils over
- Forgiving and forgetting small offenses is essential — many marriages fail over accumulated minor grievances, not major betrayals
- The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) used to help his wives with household chores — this acknowledged the value of their work and provided emotional support
- Helping around the house is not about how much you accomplish, but about showing your spouse that their work is valued and respected
- Dr. Ekram and Dr. Beshir’s books are available through Amana Publications and on Amazon
Follow the Prophetic Example in Your Home
“The Prophet (peace be upon him) was always doing what his family was doing, what his wife was doing. When you do that, you give her tremendous support. It’s about acknowledging that taking care of the family is something valuable — not putting this essential work down.”
The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) was the best example of a husband — he mended his own clothes, helped with household tasks, and treated his wives with gentleness, humor, and respect. In a time when many men view household work as beneath them, returning to this Sunnah can transform the atmosphere of the entire home. Whether you are newlywed or have been married for decades, investing in learning the art of marriage through Islamic resources like the Beshirs’ books can make the difference between a home filled with tension and one overflowing with sakina. May Allah bless every Muslim household with love, understanding, and the barakah that comes from following the prophetic example.
