start by Praise in
Allah we seek his help and his
forgiveness we seek Refuge with Allah
from the evil of our own souls and from
our bad deeds and whomsoever Allah
guides no one can lead astray and who
Allah leaves astray surely no one can
guide I bear witness there's no diety
worthy of
worship except Allah who is one who has
no Partners no father no son I bear
witness that Muhammad sallallahu alaihi
wasam is his slave and his
messenger it's hard to follow up a
beautiful talk like that my brother Abu
Asama from not too far from me in London
stays in Birmingham
mashallah I want to thank the
organizers for inviting me here to speak
to you today and to share my story and
my journey to Islam it's my first visit
to
Canada so I'll go back and share my
story the truth is often people ask me
like what made you convert to Islam what
was the journey like the former rapper
who became a Muslim and now he stands on
the stage and everything's fine and a
lot of youngsters inbox me on the
internet and say oh how can I become
like you what was your journey how did
you come away from Etc and stuff you
done before the truth is the journey is
still going on
now the journey is continuing and will
continue until I get to the Grave for me
it really feels like my journey started
that day I took my shahada in
2002 cuz as you know Allah tests those
who he
loves and Shayan made that vow to attack
the Believers those on the straight path
from left and right above and
below so the journey continues for all
of
us alhamdulillah brother was talking
about our role
model beautiful role model Muhammad
sallallahu alaihi wasallam somebody I
knew nothing about when I was growing
up my early years of my life before I
was a Muslim without having this role
model Muhammad sallahu alaihi
wasallam I feel like I was lost in this
world completely lost not knowing what
you're living
for why are you here where did you come
from where did you go after you die I
was
lost my mother didn't know what she was
living for either so she was lost and
she couldn't teach me my father doesn't
know what he was living for either so he
was lost and he couldn't teach teach me
none of them could be my true guider no
none of them could give me guidance
because they needed guidance their self
so we were all lost all in search of
happiness but looking for happiness in
the wrong
areas when you're young you see this
world as like a
playground
and you just want to have fun by doing
fun things and playing games this is
what you find this is what makes you
happy
and you just want to have
fun for
me living in a house with Jamaican
parents my father left my mom when I was
4 years old on an estate that was
governed by the council which is for all
the poor people growing up broke not
with much
money I felt like in order for me to
find this happiness and my mom to find
this happiness was by having money by
having wealth
you know when every day your mom comes
home from work and she's slamming the
cupboards she's sad she's upset because
the lack of wealth the lack of money it
affects you as a young man when the door
knocks and you go to answer the door and
your mom calls you stop don't answer the
door come hide and you're hiding behind
this sofa and you're looking at your mom
like what are we hiding for why why
can't I answer the door no we owe that
man
money so we got to hide
so we're waiting there but alhamdulillah
mom used to turn these things into a
game and make him seem fun but as I got
older the reality hit me what was really
going on and what we was really going
through the struggle now I understand
why when I used to turn and look at my
mom and say I want new trainers people
will respect me more if I have Nik
trainers I want that respect from my
friends and mom used to turn and say no
now I understand why she used to say say
no so as a youngster you just feel like
why are we so broke why are we so poor
why do I have to go next door to my
neighbor's house with a container and
say hi Miss Rose my mom said have you
got any juice please or my mom said have
you got any flour or my mom said have
you got any sugar why can't I just go to
the shop with money and just buy some
cuz the problem of money and mom used to
drink a lot and these things because we
try to escape the reality and we don't
want to think like Malcolm X says we
need to learn how to think we don't want
to think because when we think too much
it's like the reality kicks in so we try
and escape the reality by drinking and
smoking Etc and I just remember being a
youngster just thinking if we've got
money if we have money everything will
be okay and my
mom used to look at me when I was like
11 years old 12 years old and say you're
the man of the house you're the man of
the house you have to make it for us son
your dad's gone now it's all about you
cuz it was me my mom and my older sister
said you're the man of the
house and our escape from this problem
was music I remember we used to play
music on a Sunday while Mom's cleaning
up the house and this was the only time
when we wasn't sad it's like the music
used to make us feel happy and make us
forget our problems I remember just
listening to that music and my mom will
be singing along dance into the reggae
and now it was my job to do the
polishing my sister's job to do the
hoovering and it was just like love was
in the
house music was the
escape and talking about Role Models
obviously I didn't have
one and like I said I didn't know
Muhammad sallallahu alaihi wasallam
existed I didn't know any
Muslims so what we do is we tend to as
youngsters take choose our role models
from the people around
us that every single one of us is a
shepherd and each Shepherd is
responsible for his flock and believe me
there's somebody who looks up to you
whether it's someone in your school and
you're only young there's someone in
your school who looks up to you or
someone in your area who looks up to you
and what I used to do is I used to take
the people in my area as my role models
the people who look like they had the
best lives and it was the criminals the
ones who was involved in
crime asz they're the ones who had money
they're the ones who could afford a nice
car and jewelry and women used to show
them so much attention because of the
assets and the materials they
have so I thought I want to be like them
cuz I want that attention that attention
will make me happy and that will make my
life complete and if I didn't pick the
role models from the people around me it
would be the people I see on the
television like the shik said we're
victims of the
media and what I used to watch on TV was
like MTV the music
channels these music stars look like
they had the best life to me they didn't
have the problems we had
they didn't struggle like we did the
trainers everything just always look so
fresh and so new in their music videos
everything look so crisp and complete
and their houses look so big and they
were always smiling and there was always
women surrounding them this is how I
wanted to live I remember I used to have
my role models was people like Jay-Z and
Nas come on you're young and you're
looking at these rap stars on TV and
they're driving sports cars looking at
each other I remember J and Jermaine the
PRI in this video and he's going yeah I
got Ferrari and jaguar switching four
lanes to down screaming out money ain't
a thing hey and I'm looking at it with
my little young eyes is thinking wow
Ferraris Jaguars money ain't a thing one
day I'm going to rap I'm going to make
money like that by Mom a big house
everything's going to be
fine so this is what I got into I got
into music and I was living the dream
fulfilling a dream and things were going
well for
me however when I got to about 17 18 I
realized that no matter although I don't
have the problems I used to have when I
was young and money is coming in now I
still got
problems and the reality
hits there comes a stage in your life
where an event takes place whether it's
a loss it could be an argument it could
be something big or something small but
we all go through this event in our
lives where the reality hits us and we
start to question our
existence whether we're born Muslim or
non-muslim
Etc the first stage in our life was
ignorance not knowing and then that
event takes place and the next stage is
exploring questioning why am I here what
is this really about and that's when I
realized even the rap stars I was
looking up to they didn't even know what
they was living for either that same
rapper Jay-Z was talking about Ferraris
and jaguar switching for Lanes top down
money ain't a thing hey he had another
song saying this can't be life this
can't be right there's got to be more
this can't be life questioning
life so the reality is these people
ain't even happy and content they don't
even know what they're living
for and I
remember this event took place in my
life that made me start to question and
explore when I was 19 years old
I remember I was in the studio
smoking video games music playing
writing lyrics the things that we as
youngsters think we do to enjoy
ourselves we was doing this and a Muslim
came into the
room and this Muslim come in and he's
like turn down the music 5 minutes
please cuz his younger brother is
someone who I used to own the studio
with so we come in and he said to his
younger brother turn down the music 5
minutes please please and he left the
room I was thinking whoa okay he came
back few hours later turn down the music
5 minutes please back then I didn't know
what he was doing but now I know what he
was
doing turns out one day he come into the
room and he just wanted to speak with us
he just wanted to share the knowledge
that was in his head with
us and cuz he saw us as youngsters like
lost how he was before he found this
Perfection this perfect religion that he
had found so he came in a room and he
was talking to us
and I remember I was watching an awards
show a music award show and a group that
lived not far from us just won an award
and I remember they go up and they were
like and the award goes to and they said
the group's name and they came out of
the crowd they went up on the stage they
had all this jewelry and they had drinks
andamp pagne and they were like thank
you for this reward I just want to thank
my area and thank this one and they got
their award and we was watching it
jealous like thinking one day we need to
work hard this year so that next year we
can get that
award and I remember he made me feel
like is that what you're preparing
yourself for you're going to work really
hard so that next year you can get that
award and he's like he broke it down for
me that what he's doing
is he's working really hard for a bigger
award than
that and remember you ask one of us what
is the purpose of your life is this what
your life is about what is the purpose
of your life and imagine you're a young
boy and you're trying to answer this
question like what is the purpose of
life the young boy sitting there like my
purpose of life uh I don't know and this
boy is confident he usually speaks with
confidence and knows the answer to
everything so what is the purpose of
your life I don't all that just to live
life just be good to your family I don't
know he said where do you come from why
are you here and where are you going
after you die I'm thinking I come from
my mom and my dad I'm here to live and
after I die I'll be in the grave it will
be black you won't even know what
happens remember always saying that I
don't care about death cuz you won't
know you just be dead just like it was
before you was born it would be back
like that
again however this is not the
case
so he's explained you come from a
Creator a God creator of the worlds this
is where we come from and I believed in
God anyone with common sense and an open
mind that just looks outside or looks at
the human body would know there is a God
so I always believed in God anyway so he
said you're here to impress that God to
live a a life that is pleasing to that
God cuz after you die you're going to
return to that God and you're going to
be judged on everything you done while
you was here what you done in public
what you done in private in secret
everything you do while your hair is
being taken down being noted down and
you're going to be judged so what you've
got to do while you're here is make sure
you do all the things that are pleasing
to that God and that that God will be
impressed by so that after you die and
you return to him you can be
awarded so instead of working hard for
that music show award that next year
they call out your name you should work
hard so that you get a big award on that
big day when it won't just be a few
thousand people watching on TV but it'll
be the whole of mankind Bob Marley Elvis
Presley the whole of mankind will be
there imagine your name getting called
out on that day come up for your reward
today so this is was something more
sense to work for and starting to
understand my purpose in life for the
first time it's like I got that piece of
the puzzle to answer questions like why
are we here cuz it never made sense
before we just live and die is that it
so I started to realize right there
there is a purpose this makes
sense so I wanted to go to the book shop
with him and read more books more
literature so I could have the sort of
mind that he had I wanted to go back to
my area and start asking all the young
kids yo what is your purpose of life
where did you come from where are you
here where you going I wanted to like
this seemed like very
focused I went to the book shop and I
said what what book should I buy the
Quran he said no this is too much for
you the Quran try this book The Truth of
the life of This World by Haron Yahya
so I took this book and the man said to
me now you're taking these steps towards
Islam towards Allah Allah is going to
come run into you I didn't know what he
meant I'll be honest but over them days
I started to realize what he meant the
way Allah came into my life from every
angle and before I had no idea what
Islam was I mean if when I was in school
if the teacher picked me out my name
before I was a Muslim was Ashley chin
and I'm still addressed by this name
Ashley but if if the teacher said Ashley
tell us what do you know about Islam I'm
being honest I would have said is that a
country near
Pakistan I didn't have no knowledge on
Islam so now Islam was coming to me from
every angle and I started to find out
what it was and it was upon finding out
what a Muslim is that made me think I
want to take much harder and become a
Muslim I didn't need no scientific facts
I didn't need no more da that one day in
the room that was it I didn't need loads
of Muslims to take me to the mosque and
to show me around I didn't need loads of
Muslims to talk to me and give me loads
of different books it was one
translation of what a Muslim is one who
surrenders theirself to
Allah who is Allah Allah is the creator
of the worlds one who surrenders
theirself to the creator of the worlds
one who submits to God's will it was
upon understanding that's what a Muslim
is is I thought well if that's what a
Muslim is then everyone has to be a
Muslim what choice do we
have if God created the heavens and the
Earth then everyone has to submit to God
we don't have no choice in this matter
it's not a decision we can think about
and go I'm not sure if I want to be a
Muslim or not it's as simple as my mom
created me and when I'm young and my mom
used to call me and tell me to do
something like go next door and ask the
borrow some sugar I didn't want to go I
would much rather stay in my room and
play my computer but if mom tells me to
go next door and ask to borrow sugar
then I'm going to listen to mom cuz
that's Mom and that's normal and mom
made me I came from her she made me so I
have to do what she tells me to do and
that's
normality well if God made my mom and
made everything in this D and everything
in this world Allah the Creator then I
have to do what he tells me to do
I don't feel like I have any option it
should be
normal
however I was scared to become a
Muslim because when I started speaking
about my decision to
Muslims the Muslims scared
me and this is why it's important that
we know we have the best of Role Models
Muhammad sallallahu alaihi wasallam and
we learn and understand his character
and we try and adopt it cuz the Muslim
scared me like he's like the she was
saying if you came to them too harsh
they would have all ran away well I
started running away when everyone was
just telling me the rules well you want
to become a Muslim you know all this
music this studio you can't do that no
more and you know all this stuff that
you're doing to make money you can't do
that no more and you know nightclubs you
can't do that no more I'm saying what if
I only go out I won't drink no no no no
it doesn't matter what if I only go out
with my friends to celebrate their
birthday no no no no birthdays no more
everything is just not allowed no more
furthermore you can't even mix with the
opposite sex no more you can't even eat
that McDonald's at the top of the road
no more everything has to change I was
scared this was too early to tell me all
these rules I said the truth is I felt
like if I become a Muslim now I'll be
the worst Muslim cuz there's no way I
could do all of that so I don't want to
be the worst Muslim so maybe I'll wait
until I'm 40 years old when I've lived
my life I've done what I need to do I'll
become a Muslim
then and this is a problem we have as
youngsters we delay things we don't
hasten towards Good Deeds we delay it we
think after we plan as if we've been
promised a certain amount of time so
many people say things like after
University I'm going to do this after I
get married then I'm going to cover
after I do this then I'm going to that
after this these days are not promised
to us we need to be the youth the one
who practice Islam from a young age the
one who hastens towards W Good Deeds
doesn't find no time to delay it hastens
towards Good
Deeds so anyway it was the faar of death
of dying not in the state of Islam that
made me speed up my
decision people around me was dying I
remember having a conversation with
someone in a barber
shop and he was telling me about someone
who
died he said our friend from the other
area died not long ago I couldn't
believe the
news he said I was speaking to him just
2 days before he died and 2 days later I
found out he was dead imagine that he
said that's like me and you speaking now
and two days later you find out I'm
dead life is too
short he says I'm a good singer take my
number bring me to the studio with you I
want to make things happen life is too
short I want to come studio with you I
want to start singing I want to do this
I want to do that I want to have money
like this by next year and he Pi picked
a newspaper up and he said look look at
this new car there was some new cars in
the newspaper we need to have this soon
take my number call me life is too short
we have to get things going I got
plans couple days later I went to my
studio I was about to tell them the guy
who I saw he's a good singer and he
wants to come to the studio and make
some tracks but the mood in the studio
is very quiet no wasn't speaking so I
said what's wrong why is no one Speaking
what's the matter he said one of the
rappers in my team said to me have you
not heard such and such got shot in the
head today in a barber
shop this is the same guy I was about to
tell them about I'm thinking to myself I
couldn't even say it but I was speaking
to him two days ago and he actually said
to me imagine you heard I died two days
time and I heard he
died death comes unexpectedly with no
warning and this is what scared me I
remember having a dream that I got shot
myself and when you grow up in a certain
environment people are getting killed so
often I remember thinking I'm going to
die
soon and in this dream I was telling the
paramedics take me to the hospital they
were saying we got to go to the hospital
stop trying to get up but I kept trying
to get up and they were pushing me back
down saying we'll be at the hospital
soon I said no no no no I need to go I
need to go to the brother's house I
don't care if I die as long as I die I'm
Muslim I need to become a Muslim before
I die there's no way I can die without
being a Muslim first and it was that
fear when I woke up from this dream I
thought it was so real and when I woke
up I was all hot you know you get all
hot and emotional and sweating and you
think it was so real and I woke up I was
like it wasn't real is this a dream but
I took the signs from it and I thought I
need to go and see the brother and tell
him about this and tell him I want to
take my
shahada and that's what this life is
like when we're in it now Shan makes us
distracted with this world with this D
and we get so excited exed and so
emotional and we think everything
matters and everything's got to be
perfect and we think of this big fairy
tale and how it's got to be in this life
in this
world but then we're going to
die and when we go to the grave and the
angels ask us how long was we here in
this life we say a day or part of a day
and that's it this life is nothing so
upon the understanding that this life is
nothing doesn't matter it's nothing that
I made the decision do you know what it
doesn't really matter if I achieved my
dream dreams and fulfill all my
goals I just all that matters is that I
die in a state of submission I really
take my Shada now and start the struggle
the battle I know it's not going to be
easy but I'm ready to start the battle
as long as I die trying so I told him
let's go he took me to the brother's
house to take shahada cuz the mosque was
closed and when I got there the first
thing I remember it was we sitting on
the floor I thought wow Muslims are
broke they don't have no
money this this is going to be a whole
new experience for me everyone was
sitting on the floor and next thing I
noticed they said are you ready to eat
some food I said yeah let's I could eat
yeah no problem I want it to be polite
let's eat he brought out a big tray of
food he put on the
floor and everyone just was ready to
start eating but all the food was on one
tray and the man beside me was like come
on brother eat eat eat I just remember
thinking where's my plate like how am I
going to eat from this big what am I
going to do share with you I don't even
know you
and this guy beside me he eating with
his hands and he's like whole hands in
the plate and then he's putting his
whole hand back in the plate so I was
thinking whoa whoa this is barbaric I
can't
share I can't share like this
surely however the longer we continue to
eat it's like I I noticed a togetherness
that we had and a closeness we're all so
close around this tray our heads are
just like this close to each other and
we're just tucking into into this
meal but the truth is this is a
closeness I'm sharing with people I just
met that I never shared with my friends
that I had for 15 16
years I just moved to Kuwait last year
and I remember nearly every day I was
eating with different families in Kuwait
and I got emotional once I just started
thinking to myself I don't remember ever
eating with my own
family but I'm always eating with these
people's families and look how close the
families are you see
Islam didn't teach me like just how to
pray or how to sayam alayum it taught me
like so much like a family unit how to
deal with your
family how to deal with your neighbors
the manners the character of the human
being your
principles you have to live by
principles your organization
all these sort of things cuz I felt like
when I was growing up we didn't have no
Organization no principles no
togetherness so we ate this food and
then after we finished eating I remember
I got up I took my shahada and I saw the
look in their faces and it was just like
wow and the brothers came to me and they
was hugging me and in London men Never
Hug men so this was just a whole new
experience hugging in men kisses on the
cheek it was just it was beautiful to be
honest I felt love and the journey
started after that on the way home the
brother said do you feel different I
said yeah I feel different I didn't want
to tell my mom I took my
shahada I was shy I was nervous and the
brother said don't don't feel that you
have to because they're going to ask you
so much questions why are you a Muslim
are you a Muslim what do Muslims think
of this why the Muslims cut off HMS why
the Muslim women wear cover like that
why the Muslims allowed to have 10 wives
why Muslims and you're not going to know
the answer and how to answer them so
they're going to question you so much
till you question yourself and you're
going to think maybe I made a bad
decision to keep it secret so keeping it
secret I was shy and I remember praying
I didn't even want to pray in my house I
was scared my mom was going to call me
while I'm praying and my mom's going to
call me and call me cuz she likes to
call me to do things a lot of moms are
like this and I'll be praying I won't be
able to answer so then eventually mom
will come upstairs and look at me
standing there like this and think what
is he doing and she put her hand in
front of me pushing me and I just be
like I can't stop praying I can't stop
got so I didn't want to pray I used to
wait till Mom goes out but Mom hardly
ever goes out if she needed something
she told me to go get it so I had to
pray in the bathroom I thought yeah I go
in the toilet mom will think I'm on the
toilet I pray there she'll never call me
when I'm in the bathroom and this is why
it's important to seek knowledge and
when I took my shahada the brother said
to me there's conditions of the shahada
and a often B Muslims say to me I en you
reverts or converts you take this
religion so seriously and you know we
was born with it and it's like we don't
cherish it and we don't value it I
understand this to an extent but I also
have sympathy for the born Muslims that
you also were born in ignorance and
didn't know much and it was that stage
in your life where you kind of like
renewed your
faith but it was because when I took my
Shahara as a revert you get told these
conditions of your shahada conditions is
like seek knowledge be certain except
the knowledge you taken submission
submit fully there were seven I remember
the last one the brother said to me was
Al love what Allah loves and hate what
Allah
hates so the first one being seek
knowledge I had to go back to those
classes every week and I remember the
first class the man was talking about
the prayer and make sure that the place
of prayer is clean and that your face in
the right direction and that you're not
eating and that you're in the proper
clothing and that you're not praying in
the forbidden places like the graveyard
or the toilet and I was sitting there
thinking wow that's a whole week's worth
of prayers just
invalid but this is the importance you
can't compare the knowledgeable with the
unn knowledgeable so this is why it's
important when you see someone doing
wrong you don't just drill down their
throat look what you're doing wrong
you're not allowed to do they you can't
compare the knowledgeable with the unn
knowledgeable you know they learned
Faith first and then they learned the
then the commands came so it's better to
build out the faith so by seeking
knowledge the faith was building up and
the more the faith build up is the more
I understood and with understanding then
you feel like it was easier to follow
the rules so this was like the system
cuz when you the more you understand
this life and the value of this life it
was easier to follow the rules and I
remember making a decision that the UK
the West it's like I was allowing the
fit in my heart all the things I desired
like music and everything I wanted
everything I grew up around was entering
my heart it was fitner so I had to leave
and I got a teacher and a teacher was
Egyptian and he said to me why don't you
go to Egypt so I went to Egypt when I
was 21 by myself to study there and this
was a whole new experience and it was
upon my return from
Egypt that before it was hard for me to
leave music I'll be honest I couldn't
stop but in Egypt and even in cuz in the
UK the music's everywhere I go in the
barber shop new music's playing I got in
the food shop new music's playing you
get in your friend's car new music's
playing so I kind of need to get it out
of my system cuz I loved music my dad
was a musician my mom was a singer my
granddad plays a saxophone my sister was
a DJ I come from a full music household
so I left I went to Egypt and
alhamdulillah this helped me get over my
music like Obsession because the music
there even though there was music in a
lot of places in Egypt it was different
it was like some yeah
Habi didn't really affect me it didn't
have that same I didn't have that love
for that music it was just Habib Habibi
Hab like it just
no every song sounded the same so I
wasn't really interested so
alhamdulillah I came back to the
UK and they said ah you stop rapping and
stuff
mashallah and I remember the teacher
saying some youngsters in the mosque to
end my story was like do a rap do a rap
and they were the imam's children I said
no no no I can't do a rap we no stop
trying to embarrass me coming up to me
telling me to do a rap these people
don't know I'm a rapper they exposing me
he like come do a rap do a rap man I
said you recite some Quran for me and
they recited Quran I remember seeing the
Young well like the young people who got
beautiful voice Mas and then I go you do
it now and it was like do you know that
s i goes no I don't even know it I need
to learn it though and he's like man
that's in Ju Amma my little brother
knows it he's
five I was like Wow and that's when I
realized I went to a talk the first day
after and you know sometimes you go to a
talk and you feel like that Imam is
talking directly to you I felt like he
was talking to me he was like how much
Quran do you know how much Quran do you
know you'll be questioned about how much
Quran have you memorized most of you
youngsters are happes of M&M's album
Happ of Na album but how much Quran do
you know you know all these songs if you
play these songs these rap songs in your
cars you can rap along to every word put
the Quran on can you recite along with
every word and I felt like wow he's
talking to me so this is when I realized
you know I need to stop this and start
memorizing the Quran and as the shik
said is the best
speech best speech a lot of youngsters
come to me and say I want to be a poet I
want to be a spoken word artist
unfortunately I don't give them too much
enthusiasm I don't really like oh that's
great cuz I just think to myself this is
something I was asked to do is not a
dream my dream I would rather be a half
of Quran and spend all my time I don't
go to a poet and I say teach me how to
do poetry but I will travel other side
of the world and say teach me Quran cuz
this is the beautiful thing and that's
what we
need so anyway the Imam said to me do
some poetry do some rap in the mosque
without no music cuz it was Eid and the
kids would like to hear some and I was
shy I was nervous to do it I was
thinking no I don't want to do this in
the mashid this this man I saw some old
Somali man great bed just looking at me
like that with his glasses I was
thinking he won't understand what I'm
saying this brother's going to stand up
halfway through be like stuck for a li
rapping in the mosque what is this and
woke up why are you not is this a joke I
said no no no do it a capella no music
you know what to say so I went out there
like
this and alhamdulillah it kind of worked
I was shocked the same old Somali
brother came up to me after he sh
everyone was shaking my hand and I
remember he was like Mah very good
brother do you have this on CD for my
children I was like no I haven't got it
on
CD alhamdulillah from that day like I
said I never promoted myself or marketed
myself to say this is what I do um I've
got a stage name I remember once in a
Q&A they were like what made you pick
the stage name Muslim B I was like this
is not a stage name I don't have a stage
name it took much hard and the brother
said B is a good name for you but I
didn't know who B was I didn't know B at
the time I just took my shahada so I was
like B you don't sound like what I want
I want something like sufan or Talib or
Hamza these ones sound a bit more you
know I can pick any name like let me
pick let me get a book and pick like
this was a good moment for me so he was
like no no no B is is good for you trust
me B and I was just like okay who's B
tell me about him and he explained to me
who B was and how he called people to
success called people to good work the
call to prayer it was m and how his
voice was beautiful I was thinking wow
okay and he was a black slave and took
shahada and he and he explained the
whole story so I accepted the name but I
said can I choose another name as well
he said yeah no problem so he gave me
the book and I was looking through the
book and I remember seeing certain names
like I wanted to pick and then I saw
Muslim so I was questioning why is
Muslim in there that's not a name and a
brother said yes that is a name this
other brother I know is called Islam
it's a name so I said all right I'm
going to have that as my name cuz I love
it's the best name for me I was like I
love the meaning and he was like yeah
you could be Bal Muslim I said no muslim
Bal this is the first day so I took that
name and then after that day when I done
the thing in the Masid people started
asking me can you come and do this at
our University can you come and speak at
our school can you come to our country
can you come here can you come there I
never promoted myself that's why I
always used to say Allah if this ain't
good for me take it away from me if it's
good for me then make it happen because
I never promoted myself there's no
website saying book me like this or Etc
I don't know to this day how people get
hold of me it's just if it's will
someone will call me and tell me to come
if not then I won't go so I'm going to
share some of that poetry that's story
with you
nowah you
see I was raised around Guns and
Roses I got inspired by the story of
Moses I ask the Lord to have mercy on
his soul of
mine I was surrounded by Guns and Roses
in by by the story of
Moses ask a lord to have mercy on his
soul of
mine I find myself in the other side of
this world oh for this religion or for
what Allah revealed you find bow in a
small flat by myself Quran in between my
knees books part up on a shelf and as I
read memories flash me in my day
everything looks different so many
things have changed to below now this
world doesn't look the same all the
things I used to like I can't even like
again all the things I was about I had
to leave behind Ashley was a little boy
but that was the man I had to find I you
always knew the come a time when I would
cross the line knew there was a true
religion that religion wasn't mine they
look at me and they say the boy's gone
crazy I gave up so much all for the one
that made me preparing myself for the
angels to come and take me take me from
this terrible World in which they Place
me and the signs were clear for them as
they are for me but they didn't choose
to listen they didn't choose to see I
see the two parts in front of me so
clearly I choose in the right side I'm
staying on it firmly obviously I'm just
another gy from the road and I find it
hard on this path that I chose but I
ain't got a choice now the realness
shows where you got a submit that's just
how it
goes It's amazing when I look at where I
am today this and what was rais a mord
this The Chosen way I used to go into my
church every Sunday mom was cooking R of
pees listening to Red Gate typical black
boy from a typical black household
walking with his jeans low face like he
on the road before there was no hope I
used to make a lot of do but I about
Islam or a laa say I don't know then a
few books a few months a lot of reading
a new season it brings a new way you're
thinking a reason when a Muslim is
speaking I listen I smile cuz of the
beauty I found in his religion this is
what was missing the final piece of the
puzzle it's all starting to make sense
now before was all modled I was stuck in
the jungle blind like a bat now I see
quite clear it's a lot thank for that I
was on the outside looking then the ghet
old child
lingering thinking should I take it now
the thoughts would just waver in will it
make my Daddy proud what am I going to
say to him can I go back to my house
mommy I'm a Muslim how she going to take
it down how they going to take it in
will I end up kicked out will I get a
kick in I don't know what to do I got to
plan my next move I want to take sh hard
soon we ready got to think it through so
what's right for me I have to do I live
for me and not for you I don't believe
that is true the things I read in the
news it's my choice I'm a choose ain't
got nothing to lose this is the religion
the truth read the books found the proof
I remember Isel came to me sat me down
and say to me what's your purpose in
life could it just is like a game to me
and I would think occasionally is was
right I need to fix up my life tonight
could be my last night so just before
the summer year 2002 my mind already had
a Wonder now was time to make a move I
made my way down to the stews where I
link up with my crew I'm sitting on a
single chair and my fingers through my
hair I said yo isra feel is your older
brother here thankfully he says yeah
it's is was
downstairs he'll be up in a minute he's
having a word with his mother when he
comes up I tell him I want to take my
shahada he looks at me and smiles and
stand up receive a hug he said I see you
as a friend no more I look you like a
brother now I could feel the love no
longer feeling loss he said take off
your cross to take a drive to New cross
where I met my uncle Yasser and his
brothers from all over is it it's time
to leave the GH old life where over your
shoulder so I said Muhammad there's no
true God except Muhammad is his
messenger and I ain't going church no
more I'm going
jum I remember Friday Str MOS M I wanted
to get the front row I had to get it
early he read a prir in Arabic I
understood it barely I really got to
learn it quick I got myself a teacher
and then I went to Egypt so I can learn
the language better I'm feeling all
emotional I wrote my mom a letter in
Egypt feeling lonely wanted to find
myself a lover I tried to get married I
suffered a bit of racism he said she
couldn't be with me because my parents
were Mak I said hey but I still pray and
I fasting Ramadan he said no daughter of
mine will be marrying a black man I said
okay cool I'mma make daha for you and
you know what brother just make daha for
me
too I'm just happy I'm a Muslim that
came from the streets to Islam they get
older when I see my brother give a pal
Embrace with a hug and greting
Witham I'm a Muslim that came from the
streets to is LAM they get older when I
see my brother give a pal Embrace with a
hug and greeting with Salam
salum and mom always tried her best to
make sure what some was focused mom
always had a smile no matter how slow I
progress and my mom would always say
that's my son he's the best and mom
never let me forget that this life was a
test when I was raised in Christianity I
used to go Church mom would drop me off
to school then she rush off to work a
Mom saw her son changed when I turned 19
but she still loved me the same when I
converted to the dean she have started
asking questions son why you do that I
said Mom sit with me what your DVD of
Ahmed that and slowly but surely mom
will recognize the truth and appreciate
the changes that I made since my
youth but she knew I was flying away she
wanted to spend the day together this is
our moment we went Masid together and it
was enough to make me smile look at my
mom with a hair cover and then she
brought the news she wanted to take her
shahada I said
allahar obviously I love Allah the most
in
this and then I love the prophet and his
but after my love for Islam comes a love
for my mother definitely I love Allah L
the most in
this and then I love the prophet
and but after my love for Islam comes
the love for my
mother said tell my mother when I die
don't cry just pray for me at my janaza
why I believe in a life that goes on
beyond the sky I'm just trying to get
there while I'm here still alive and
yeah I'm surprised I didn't think that I
will be able to Le the things that I
done before but I know they see me in
the street they say bow how's it going
and I reply alhamdulillah it's going
fine the grass is greener on the other
side the women are more cleaner and the
men are more polite I love my new family
I love my new life see now I could smile
even if I that tonight but if I that
tonight tell my don't cry pray for me at
my Jer why cuz I believe in a life that
goes on beyond the sky I'm just trying
to get there while I'm here still alive
and I am
nothing without my
religion without my faith my faith or my
wisdom you might see me talking but is
it even worth me living If I Ain't Got
fear or faith or
religion see it's the end of the
beginning
and my soul's been taken or this time I
thought I was winning now I'm going
through
registration will my name be called by
the one who rolls or my the one who
falls face down and balls and screams
and cries send me back for another try
requests denied access denied why can I
see where are my eyes why can I speak
why your my my lips sealed eyes closed
why am I naked where are my clothes and
why are those things that I bought
yesterday part of my back could this be
what they say will be the day of no
turning
back that's why I pray I don't forget
what I came
for what I'm made for what I'm aiming
for I guess we forget our purpose are we
still lost in a life that's worthless
I guess we forget what we came for what
we're made for what we're aiming for I
guess we forget our purpose are we still
lost in a life that's
worthless brother do you want for me
when you want for
yourself brother you pray Allah gives me
strength and health or brother you
forget about me
like brother you love
me
brother you one for me when you one for
yourself brother you pray L gives me Str
and health brother you gossip about me
like brother really love
me walking with his head down books
under his arm reciting his favorite
words in the Quran as time goes around
so
soon time goes around so
[Music]
soon
seen from them disbeliever as a stranger
seen as a man that brings Terror and
danger but he's just trying to focus on
his Dean head down trying to focus on
his
Dean a Muslim below they call me Allah
bless me with the power where they
showed me use your voice to give th
where they told me help prepare theor
for the hour before we but I can't see
what's coming around the corner I'm not
a messenger I am just a Warner so I
leave us with this warning today could
have been a last morning if tonight we
die thank you it's been a pleasure
entertaining you I just hope it
benefited you the way it's meant to I
took you on the journey gave the story
of my my life and I may not get to tell
this story again after tonight cuz this
could be good night but it's been a good
night and if I pass this test I say it's
been a good life I'm glad I put things
right I was on a bad path and now I make
guzzle in my bath and wrap my head up
with a scarf I like a nice fold Duffer a
sleeveless puffer and my child is above
the ankles problems in Estonia but I'm
seeing the angles clear I'm in my 10th
year so this is like a 10-year-old
Inspire in his Pier
should I even be here we could trade
places and you could take the chair and
you don't need to Cher or clap and
please don't compare this to rap cuz I
am just a speaker I speak in the
language of the youth I understand them
I've been through what most of them been
through but now I'm on the stage with a
different ambition like Malcolm a man on
the mission made the transition came
from the streets to Islam the ghetto
when I see my brother give a pal Embrace
with a hug and greeting
[Music]
Witham like
the brother said I mentioned I went to
Egypt how was my experience there
alhamdulillah there's good and bad
everywhere in the world I went there to
try and better my Islam and I wanted to
see the
Muslims alhamdulillah I did see the
Muslims in Egypt but I didn't can't say
I actually saw Islam how I wanted to see
Islam there's good and bad everywhere I
think in Egypt the man the Arabs in
general the manners like as in they will
feed you eat eat eat they will give you
more and more more food to your lasts
but come on this surely this ain't hell
out eating this much so the manners was
good in the people that they will do
things for you and help you however
sadly lot of the youth
there there was interested in the wrong
things they'll be like oh you're from
England where your family from Jamaica
can you roll a spliff can you roll a
spliff can you rap can you do this do
you know about that they seem so
interested in England and where I'm
coming from and I was so interested in
what they had what they was born with
like there's masjids everywhere like
just downstairs there's a Masid you just
got to go downstairs that's it it seemed
like this is amazing but they had it all
their life that they didn't really
cherish it and that kind of hurt me I
speaking you don't realize what you have
you can stand in prayer and just
understand what is being
recited you can just read pick up that
Quran and just read the Arabic your mom
your dad they've all got in their heart
you don't understand what you've got and
this was what was frustrating and this
is how kind of my journey started cuz I
ended up sitting at coffee shops talking
to everyone about my journey to Islam
and why I came to this country and it
was this is how it all started in Egypt
to be honest so but my overall
experience was was good it's beneficial
if you want to learn Quran if you want
to learn Arabic it's beneficial and it's
cheap there the brother asked what
brought me to Kuwait
um to be honest I had to leave Egypt
because of money issues you know like
there's a quote that I love like we need
I need money to live but I don't live
for money it's not good to live for
money but the truth is we do need money
to live so when we're making our goals
and our object we should separate our
goals financial goals is needed but
spiritual goals physical goals Etc
family goals we must balance them out so
in Egypt I was just on my spiritual
goals but I wasn't earning any money I
was just spending money and then I come
to a stage where I was running out of
money and I didn't know how to make more
in Egypt the money is so sweet so I came
back to England in hope to save and save
and save and go back one day but it was
hard and then wanting to get married is
very hard dowes these days that women
ask for are just ridiculous sometimes
Stu and not even them their fathers what
job what education I remember in Egypt
was just like what certificate what's
your major what's your degree and the
things like what it seemed like what the
Companions and the sahabas made
important we didn't find important but
we had new things what they didn't find
important we made important and I was
just couldn't so I went back to England
and I was in England for long and I
remember I found myself getting lost
back in my UK cycle and I wanted to get
away again but I knew I couldn't afford
to just go Egypt do a year come back
Kuwait I met a brother when I was in
Holland I was touring with Napoleon
mutab and we was talking backstage and
he was saying man you got to get out of
the UK man it's F he's said I'm in Saudi
now you got to try and get out to Saudi
or something or let the brothers hook
you up and I said I would love that
there's a brother there from Kuwait and
he said no not Saudi come to Kuwait come
to Kuwait and um I took his
details and then I lost touch with him
seven months later but you know you got
to make effort I still went I booked my
flight my ticket and I went there not
knowing anyone alhamdulillah Allah made
me meet someone the first day who knew
the brother who I was coming to meet and
he helped me find a
flat and he introduced me to a teacher
and I found I made a whole family there
in Kuwait so I went there to just try it
out initially but it's beautiful I I I I
did like it there because there's not so
much happening like Egypt it's very
simple it's very small and it's not too
excited it's not too excited they've got
that Arabic culture where you go to the
desert regular and we sit and do talks
and every you can there's lectures every
day you can get close to the people of
knowledge and they do lectures every day
whereas it's more limited in like Egypt
and Saudi to just anyone can't just
speak so alhamdulillah this was
beneficial for me and yeah yeah and
there's a way there you can earn money
you can get jobs there and earn money so
you don't have to keep traveling back
and forth so that's why I kind of
selected
there alhamdulillah so that's the end of
my questions thank you very
much I come from London where it's
always cold it's always
raining I'm going to start off with a
piece that goes like this
you
see you see it's cold outside I got my
coat
on my mommy looked in my eyes and told
me hold
on she said there's danger down the road
that I walk
on and those who walked on it before now
they're all
gone they're even locked in the cage or
down in the
grave this is the outa from the choices
we made alhamdulillah been saved
alhamdulillah RAF been
saved alhamdulillah RAF been
saved alhamdulillah that's why I'm here
today you see Jamaica is my
background London is my
birthplace I ask myself why didn't they
teach me about the religion of Islam in
the first place see I was on the verge
of walking around my Streets of London
with a screw face now I say it's a good
thing I was never too cool to read the
first page yeah Jamaica is my
background London is my birthplace I ask
myself why didn't they teach me about my
purpose in this life in the first place
see I was on the verge of walking around
my street sand with a screw face now I
say it's a good thing I was never too
cool to read the first
page see I
remember coming home late from the party
he's intoxicated with champagne I didn't
really have love for anybody I was a bad
boy with a bad name and I I get paid to
tell my story alhamdulillah I came a
long way from the streets to Islam now
Salam is what we say and the day after
to Mas Subhan Allah that was a Friday
the brothers picked me up to take me to
J we got they late and they started to
pray he whispered to me follow my lead I
didn't understand the word that they say
and I thought he was confused like me
till he opened his mouth and he said a
mean then he raised his hands and he
went to his knees and he raised back up
then we went to the floor then we raised
back up and we went to the floor now
this is confusing me for sure but I
didn't give up now we understanding
looking at a proud Muslim man and I want
to go and live in a Muslim land take a
Muslim wife Hat by a Muslim man and have
some Muslim kids I got Muslim plans
alhamdulillah I'm a Muslim
man but
sometimes I think when my sky turns
black my future starts to fade and all I
have is what I see in front of me today
cuz this could be my last hour that's
the reality I worry about tomorrow when
I meet him and he greets me I was a
black boy lost till the age of 19 I
picked up my first book I'm inspired now
to read I always had an image of a bad
boy in the street but always had a crazy
love for a love inside of me now what's
the truth for the life of this world I
was sitting there asking myself cuz I
could get the money or the girls quite
easy I could be a superstar always seen
on TV but will it make me happy will it
make me smile will it last forever or
just a short while what happens after
the nightclubs after all the Raves after
all the fame when your name starts to
fade after the old age when the bone
starts to freay what happens after the
church or the mosque or the grave they
say the topic of death is depressing I
say it depends on the brother and the
vision cuz after these years we're
surviving in the prison I pray there's a
life waiting for us in the heaven
imagine a land of justice and Perfection
no more police poverty or politician
after being in these streets victim of
the system we're finally free running
around like the children and this could
all be but I know it won't be easy they
say one from every thousand I just want
that one to be me living in a Land of
nor rain always good weather I'm
prepared to stop partying today so I
could party there forever but they don't
see the vision like I see it they caught
up in this life lost so be it I just
want to chill with a wife and I'm a
rocking mint tea visualizing Paradise
that's where we want to be but sometimes
it feels like I got this D on my
shoulders the young Brothers say they
can't rely upon the olders so there
comeing to me with all the questions and
be what can I do about my unlawful
obsession
and I'll be like wow how did I end up
here it's funny how life could turn
around within some years the other day I
was hustling dropping off a sample and I
just say you're setting an example I'm
dealing with a handful of sins trimmed
down from a mountain looking at my past
life the gang I Rod around in while I'm
sipping at the Zam Zam Fountain my
around my over around my brown
skin alhamdulillah I came from the
streets to Islam the get owner when I
see my brother give a palm Embrace with
a hug and greeting with
Salam
sry this next piece I'm going to
do
um I'm going to do
something what should I do
something let me do something uh
something new about the
sisters I was thinking of about a year
ago where year new to
me
uh nothing personal but soon as there's
the sisters always outdo the men in
these events so I might as
well sis huh on make up on a spot no no
no no no no I I I do initially but then
I remember it and do it now so uh
sister is in the earlier section I ended
with the brother you w for me we want
for yourself remember that brother give
me strength and brother would you say
about
me brother love
me so this one's for the Sisters this
goes like this sister I can't even see
your face
sister I can't even hear your voice
sister I can't even smell your scent you
must be the one a last sent P sister I
can't even see your face sister I can't
even hear your voice sister I can't even
smell your sin she must be the one I L S
P
sister walking in a Black Veil talking
in a low voice she ain't got no smell
she don't want to see no boys she gets
embarrassed when she's out there in the
public her beauty is amazing but she
don't want it public she wears Flats cuz
the heels bring attention she must be
the one my books used to mention and she
don't wear makeup she's HD clear and her
eyebrows haven't been Fred in a year a
head full of knowledge and a Heart full
of fear eyes full of love and a hands
full of care looser the garments that
she likes to wear she could have a good
budy but she wants to prevent the
stairs I like the way she gets
embarrassed when I recite a verse the
way she wears her AA with the
converse she ain't the type to let her
husband go to sleep stressful cuz she
don't want to get cursed by the angel
sister I can't even see your face sister
I can't even hear your voice sister I
can't even smell your sent you must be
the one of L sent by your sister I can't
even smell your face sister I can't even
hear your voice sister I can't even
smell your sin you must be the one
s yeah I'd love to TI not like a Boy
Scout you know I'm talking about
complete half my Dean then I'll be
walking out with my queen a wife V up
covered from head to toe that's how I
like my V up that's mine Brothers it's
not for your eyes only need that one
wife that follows God's way of life and
die we love to give her about 17
children 10 boys seven girls and feed
all of them and I'mma raise on my boys
to be soldiers my girls to be wives I'm
not following my olders N I want to live
in a household of love when Daddy comes
home little girls run and give a hug
when it's time to pray replace all the
rugs of the mats and call the whole
family to come and pray Salah Brothers
stand at the front sister stand at the
back whole family praying together now
how real is that after the prayer recite
Quran Tak it in turns that we can talk
about school today what did you learn
the young kids go and play the wife's
cooking some food were the oldest of my
daughters in there helping to were the
oldest of the sons outside with Me Up on
the Roof going through some Quran and
hadiths I'm a bit of
football I'm just trying to paint the
picture the family structure now Islam's
in my life it's so much better I can't
even see your face you know that
B I'm going to end on one one last
piece this piece is the first first
piece I ever
done when years ago a brother asked me
to do something to raise money for
Palestine and he said that he we're
going to put it on like a
CD and this is when I first stopped
doing
music so he said just do something and
he'll go on the CD and the sales of the
CD will send the money to Palestine so I
said what should I do and he was think
about Philistine like I don't know so I
typed in on
YouTube Philistine or Palestine what's
happening I can't remember but I
remember finding this YouTube clip of a
little girl she was about 9 years old
and she was crying philistin me
Philistine crying about she is Palestine
and what's happening in it was about the
situation there and the girl inspired me
to do this small poem and I'll just end
with
this my little brother's getting stuck
up my little sister's getting knocked up
my aunties and my uncles getting locked
up Shah are getting wrapped up and I'm
still in my room watching my plasma TV
like nothing up one one bu when one part
feels the pain the pain spreads and it's
supposed to affect everybody but I don't
see anybody doing anything but marching
and screaming and voting for somebody
that ain't helping nobody when is The
Game Stop I make Dua when the rain drops
my brother's in Philistine watching the
Flames drop the same peace this is on
top until we get serious it won't stop
and serious time's coming soon but I'm
still in my room I'm still in my room
serious 's coming soon soon I need to
leave this room leave this
room I'm sitting in the park where the
kids go play until it's dark there's
nobody around I hear the sounds from the
cars as they pass I see a man in his
wife linking arms talking laugh they're
smiling now but how long would this last
in the world that we liveing where
Everyone likes receiving but no one
likes giving I'm sitting there this
evening really stressing out trying to
find an excuse trying to figure out what
could be the reason
what's it all about is it just the
Killing Season why the guns are out pow
pow pow she heard the shs fired pow pow
pow her brother just died pow pow pow
now this little girl cries pow pow pow
in
Palestine pow pow pow she heard the
shots fired pow pow pow her brother just
died pow pow pow now this little girl
cries pow pow pow in Palestine see need
money to live but I don't live for money
I sleep okay it's not a day I go hungry
should I be happy with my life what
about the other side I understand so I
smile less than a cry more and I got a
lot going on in these eyeballs and I
don't tear very easy but I know there's
more than a show on the TV going on here
in our world those little girls of my
little girls and those little boys am my
little boys the least I can do is make
some noise and I don't do it for the
Limelight from the people but the know
from Allah only try to help the people
so I can get help from Allah show Mercy
to the people cuz I need Mercy from
Allah how can I not forgive the people
and ask forgiveness from Allah but we
became a people who's forgotten who we
are they say below man you could have
been a star who cares look at them over
there and look at what they're going
through how can I sit a and just smile
and enjoy my
food that's it from me to
you