this is the de
the alhamdulillah peace be unto you
thank you for tuning in to the dean show
and this week we want to help all of
those people that are suffering
suffering and have some sadness in the
heart there's a there's a void that
needs to be filled and you know what
you're doing your best you're striving
you're striving to submit to the one God
you're striving to do good deeds you're
striving to develop yourself to have
noble character but you might have lost
a loved one you might have separated in
a marriage you might just be having a
bad month or a bad week and you're just
sad so how do we as Muslims those who
have submitted to the one God how do we
deal with that even if you're a not yet
Muslim and you're going through
depression this is a topic for you too
and we're going to be covering this with
our next guest yaser faga sit tight
we'll be right back this is the the
D this is the
D this is the this is
the this is
the this is the
the
the is
the this is the is
the this is the
D this is the D
this is the dean show alikum peace be
with
you how are you I'm doing good Al how
are you Eddie good alhamdulillah all
thanks is the creator of the heavens and
the Earth who's given us this ability to
be here I'm very thankful time is short
so let's get right into the topic I
opened it and you are the director of
the Mental Health Institute so you deal
a lot with people coming in and having a
bad day having a bad month having a bad
year and they're depressed is this right
that is very right and again I really
have to thank you Eddie for bringing up
these topics these are real issues that
people have to go through every single
day and actually the Quran makes it very
clear that by the mere fact that we are
humans we are going to face challenges
in our lives we don't get to choose the
timing of the challenge we don't get to
choose the nature of the challenge or
where it may happen but the fact remains
and that is we will face some challenge
in our lives that challenge may be us
our wealth our health it may be our
loved ones those who are around us and
again with these challenges it's not
just the loss but also it is the impact
that the loss may have upon us and like
you said you know depression just
happens to be one of these challenges
that may face us as humans now keep in
mind that um depression is not
necessarily a character weakness MH
people would deem depression to be um
and just trying you know to shake people
out of it um you know and they would
give you that pep talk when the going
gets Stu the stuff get going yeah or
hard times don't last but tough people
do these are beautiful words but they
really do not eliminate depression so
depression is not seen as a personal
weakness of the individual so please if
you know anybody that is depressed out
there make sure that you do not
attribute depression to their weakness
because it's not depression also is not
the result of weak faith and that is
something that we hear amongst religious
groups and that is or the person's faith
in God is not that strong that is why
they are depressed and that is not real
what it really is is that at this point
the pain that you are going through is
so overwhelming and you do not have
enough tools to deal with the pain so
you go into depression that's basically
in simple words that is really what it
means so appreciate that you bringing up
this topic but it's also very important
that we know how to characterize it the
right way so that we become a source of
empowerment to those who are around us
rather than a source of depression to
those who are already um depressed so I
really appreciate you bringing up this
um this topic not only that but also
this idea that religious people are not
necessarily um what we call uh
inherently protected from becoming
depressed simply because they are
religious reality is um depression is
something that you know it it it it it
crosses all uh bounds and all you know
socioeconomic um ethnic um religious
none of that matters we're all prone to
it now what Islam promises is this Islam
does not say that because you are a
Muslim you will never be depressed Islam
says that because you are a Muslim you
have access to the tools that Islam
gives you if you're depressed it will
prevent you from going into despair so
religion prevents despair it does not
prevent inherently it does not prevent
depression that's a key right there so
being depressed is a part of the natural
just conqu of being a human being and
not only that but if we are not
depressed there is really something
wrong I mean chances are we will be
depressed someday it will be a minor
depression it may be major depression
but definitely we will have the blues
you know we will have one day we're just
not feeling well we're down so that is
that is hum and we Embrace this we don't
try to rush ourselves out out of it but
remember it's not depression that
bothers us it is the consequences of
depression how people choose to cope
with depression what people and who
people become as a result of depression
that is really the challenge now you
also said after depression the this way
way of life it will keep you from going
into despair right cuz what happens when
you go into despair then uh that's when
people go into suicide that is people
want go on to it's not worth living
anymore that is when people literally
give up and they give up on life that is
dangerous so that is where we come in
with the tools that Islam says that we
have so that it prevents that I just
give you give you an example Eddie did
you know that every 15 minutes in the US
somebody takes away their own life every
15 minutes every 15 minutes that is 90
people a day that is
34,000 people every year they die
because of suicide falling in despair
now yes not only that Eddie but it is
the third leading cause for people
between the ages of eight between the
ages of 18 and 45 and is the second
leading cause of death for college
students we're talking about a serious
serious problem here it's not just the
depression that is serious it is the
consequences how people cope and how
people deal with depression that is
problematic MH people who go into
alcohol thinking that this is going to
make them you know forget about their
problems that is something that started
with depression but now the coping
mechanism the coping skills that the
person has acquired are so poor that
depression is no longer the problem it
is the way that they're dealing with
depression people who go into um uh
smoking especially nowadays the smoking
pot is so unbelievably popular because
that is the only way that a person has
learned how to cope with their
depression and that is really sad so
what we're after here is to be depressed
is human to go into despair is
unacceptable so it is helping the
individuals who are going through these
tough times you know deal with the
depression getting out of it but at the
same same time we don't want them to go
into despair as well usually like when
you get hurt okay you you you get a
Band-Aid on the scar it takes a few days
maybe a week you broke a bone it takes a
little bit longer but the emotional scar
sometimes can take even longer than the
physical scars but is there you being an
expert in this area is there
approximately about a time if you you
know in a way these tools you mentioned
that if you deal with it it maybe take a
month 6 months how long does it or is
there even such a thing that
approximately you'll feel this this
depression emptiness and before it goes
away yeah well a person is considered to
be clinically depressed if they have had
uh six of nine symptoms and just very
quickly feeling fatigue a sense of
hopelessness uh losing interest uh
seeking isolation thinking about uh
death a person not finding pleasure in
pleasurable things that they have done
in the past a person feeling down most
of the day very little to tolerance for
irritance uh the whole idea of feeling
down um so if you have had this for 2
weeks then you are considered to be
clinically depressed now this is not
considering that a major life-changing
event has taken place people getting
divorced a loved one dying then we would
expect that naturally it would take us
some time to heal but if you are
depressed and you have been there for a
while then 2 weeks would be you know
anything less than 2 weeks would be
normal more than 2 weeks it would be
clinically you are defined as clinically
depressed let's take a break and we'll
right back with more here on the dean
show do not kill a woman do not kill a
child do
not you know going to different
religious leaders Buddhism Hinduism
forms of Christianity I even ran into
people from the Nation of Islam kill an
old man do not kill an animal do not cut
a tree down do not pollute their water
do not burn their
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homes back here on the dean show with SH
yaser faga we talking about
depression and we want people to
understand okay this is normal but when
you fall into what were you talking
about now desperation or what was the
other word the poor coping mechanism to
despair or po despair okay when you fall
into despair that can be a problem
leading to suicide and things
that you know taking the wrong course
now but tell us okay so a broken brone
doctor can tell you okay in six months
you'll be healed you mentioned two weeks
before we went to the break uh and then
you're you're clinically diagnosed as as
uh depressed right so how is it so from
here after you've been depressed for two
weeks I mean talk to us more is there
like after two months that it gets you
label something else or should it go
away after two months but do you have to
be doing something these tools you
mentioned what are the tools and uh do
you have to implement them how do you
implement them or otherwise you're
depressed for two years y see think
about depression like falling into a
hole area okay and this is for the
viewers as well but that hole is not
stagnant the hole is either getting
deeper or you're trying to crawl out of
it and the longer that we stay in that
hole the deeper it gets but also the
deeper it gets the more difficult it
gets to get out of it and the more
hopeless we become as as a result so
usually what we want to see is that once
a person recognizes this that they're
depressed and we usually do and then
again you know depending on the severity
of it so we would say that a person is
depressed it's either you know minor
depression it is or it's mild they would
call it it's either moderate or it is
severe and when it gets severe we're
talking a person being negligent of of
their personal hygiene for example they
don't go to work anymore their
performance is just um and their
functionality is impacted by this they
started performing very poorly
academically in their relationship they
start neglecting their responsibility
towards their loved ones and that's when
like they can have like suicidal
thoughts or they can actually start
having psychosis which means that you
know their perception of reality is
Disturbed at this at this point so what
we are looking at is we want to make
sure that the minute we notice it then
we want to make sure that we take early
prevention so the very first tool that I
would you know Point our attention to is
this whole idea of early prevention if
you detect it if you sense it do
something about it and basically because
depression is all about doing nothing
just people idling and you know there is
really nothing happening the very first
thing that we want to do is actually
begin by doing something doing something
as opposed to doing nothing exactly and
and the point is that this helps people
in really getting out of it remaining to
be functional despite the fact that they
are depressed now you know there is this
thing about being an alcoholic and a
functioning alcoholic you can be
depressed and functionally you're also
you know you're you're okay uh it's a
lesser form of depression at that at
that point we also want to make sure
that you surround yourself with a good
support system that is when family
members come in that is when friends
come in you know you're talking about uh
people who have committed suicide okay
they say that about 80% of the people
before they you know before they
completed their suicide they called the
loved one they called the loved one okay
there was this story about um this young
man uh he was determined in San
Francisco that he was going to go to the
Golden Gate Bridge that he was going to
throw himself down unless somebody asks
about him so he said that he actually
made it to the Golden Gate Bridge and he
said that a couple came and they handed
uh him a camera and asked if he can take
their photo he said I took their photo
but they did not ask how I was doing so
he threw himself down but he did not die
and that's how we know the story so the
idea is that even when people are
depressed and they get into that state
of despair and they no longer want to
live they usually reach out to somebody
before before they do that so if you are
a parent and your teenage son or
daughter they've been talking to you
about depression please take that
seriously if you are a friend and
somebody has reached out to you saying
that I really don't want to live anymore
please take that seriously I mean there
is a course that we teach on just
noticing signs and symptoms of a person
considering suicide people giving their
valuables away people have this cat that
they really adore and they call you up
and say know I want you to take care of
my cat oh for the weekend no no I want
take I want you to take care of it you
mean are you leaving town no I just want
you to have it immediately you know what
is what is going on when people start
giving you know away things that they
really value it means that they're
clearing the way to do that so this
support system you know and don't be
afraid of asking people you know what
you're very depressed you know I'm
really afraid for you and do not be
afraid of using the word suicide are you
considering suicide don't shy away from
using uh from using the word you're
normalizing it at that at that point so
it will be it will be these things you
know the support systems and then there
just the proper tools having access to a
professional is definitely a tool that
we want you to uh employ and remember
because you're seeing a therapist or
you're seeing a psychiatrist it does not
mean that it you are weak because you
are unable to do it on your on your own
it does not mean that you're crazy it
does not mean that you are um insane and
I know that you know therapists don't
really fare well in society nowadays
especially if you're a psychiatrist
people are talking about you visiting a
shrink and so so there is that stigma
that that um that comes um that comes
with it but just get to know as many
tools as as possible and you know we've
mentioned three of them here um so far
so don't be alone talk to someone get
attention for this matter right away yes
an early early detection early
prevention is usually the way to go with
it talk to us about some other things
that a person can do you know to get
more optimistic on the optimistic side
and to get away from you know falling
into despair they lost let's say they
just got divorced or you know the person
lost their children you know some things
other things that you recommend that
they do y one great tool that we really
like to do is something that we call uh
relabeling and basically what that is is
that you're not necessarily changing the
facts of what happened but just give it
a different label and that may actually
make you feel better so we can refer to
somebody as either a rape victim or a
rape Survivor we're not changing the
facts you know something bad has really
happened to this person something
terrible has happened to this person but
when I told them a victim it's a downer
yet when I use the word Survivor there's
actually hope there you're empowering
the the um the individual so rather than
saying that I am weak for example let's
say when you're depressed say not I'm
going through some difficult times at
this point and what that would do is
that just the the negative labeling of
the self is removed away and that
actually helps us in keeping our own
sense of goodness our self-concept our
sense of self has not been distorted as
a result of this negative label that we
have applied to our um to ourselves
reaching out to friends usually it's
just the support system that is around
us you know making sure that you are in
good company that would be such a great
tool assets I mean good friends good
friends are a beautiful asset you know
and and and that's why you know say that
that's the best you know the most
beautiful things in life are not things
it is relationships and what better and
more beautiful than a relationship that
you can actually count on when you are
so down than our friends we're going to
take a break and we'll be right back
with more here on the dean show I
stand I am not afraid to stand alone if
Li by I am not afraid to stand
alone I am not afraid to stand alone if
Li by I am not afraid to stand
alone I am not afraid to stand alone if
a li by
I am not afraid of stand
alone I would go to my room lock the
door prostrate and cry saying God you
know me better than myself show me the
right way and I will not look back I
will leave everything behind
Allah is our creator and he creates
everything and he gives intelligence to
people is mam peace be upon Muhammad is
one of the last Messengers and from
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God back here on the dean show with SH
yaser faga now in this way of life that
we follow the way of life of all the
messengers of God we're trying to live a
righteous life according to God's Wills
not our desires sometimes a person can
get more depressed feeling that you know
what is is a punishment from God am I
dis did I do something to displease God
can a person sins also you know going
away from let's say uh the prayer you
know establishing a relationship with
the Creator can this also lead to
depression or even on the flip side if
someone's doing these things but then
they fall into depression they feel like
you know what has God turned his back on
me and they get more depressed yeah you
know here's what we say having the
correct perception of who God is and
knowing him through his names and
attributes and beautiful qualities that
he has told us about is just a cardinal
cardinal uh component of having a
healthy life the other thing that you
also want to keep in mind is if if the
higher the gap between where we actually
are and our values and principles
meaning that if our values and
principles are up here and our actions
are down here this is too high of a gap
that is an invitation to Misery we are
actually happiest when there is harmony
between what we believe what our
principles are what our values are and
then our actions are actually a
testimony to what we believe and what we
value and what our principles are so
what we want to do is close this Gap as
much as possible and that is harmony
that is when we acquire that peace of
mind you know the saying that if what
you believe in does not impact how you
behave then what you believe in is not
important so how can you say that God is
Mercy merciful yet you have this um
perception of him say that God opens the
doors and he is the dispenser of Grace
yet you say that so that would be an
erroneous um an erroneous um perception
of God because God does not benefit
anything from putting us through
miseries that will not be uh acceptable
does prayer does um getting close to God
help it definitely does and that is why
many times actually a therapist would
refer clients for some spiritual healing
you know they would say fine I want you
to take your medication take your
anti-depressants or anti-anxiety pills I
want you to come to counseling so that
we make sense out of it but you know
what I think spiritual healing will also
be helpful to you so you see a lot of
people being sent to their Rabbi to
their Pastor to the imams and the point
is is spirituality can actually add
meaning and give explanation to what the
person is going through as well as the
idea of instilling Hope because of their
belief in God that can also be a very
important component of you know gaining
back our emotional
health now before we close just uh a few
more points that I I want to cover now
there's a person who is who's living
more of a life according to this way of
life according to the game plan well
that
person be less inclined towards
depression look um here is the thing um
what that's really about what causes
depression so it could be the genetics
it could be biological factors it could
be environmental it could be just the
other person's own susceptibility to
fall into depression so you may really
be praying and what have you but then
you lose a child so naturally you would
be you that's just natural now you feel
like you shouldn't feel guilty about you
get divorced so naturally you would feel
that because you are religious like we
said religion does not inherently
prevent depression religion gives you
enough tools to prevent you from going
into despair the tools so you can do the
job when the depression kicks in you got
the tools to help you get out of the
depression exactly exactly but if you
don't have the tools and the tools would
you say the knowledge well the tools
would be you know uh what we call about
you know just the whole idea of being
aware that the idea of optimism because
optimism believe it or not is actually a
learned behavior we're not born
optimistic it's a learned behavior it's
a behavior that we actually learned you
know attitude and perception all these
things these would be proper tools that
we can all learn and the thing is Eddie
and this is really interesting um each
and every one of us we have got like
just enough well of treasure within us
that we have not tapped into MH so if
you go to a good therapist what that
therapist would do they won't really
give you new tools but they would tap
into your own well of tools that you
actually have but you were not aware of
now last closing comments and
suggestions for the persons that's at
the edge they're at the edge you know
what and they might even be
contemplating suicide and they just
tuned into the dean show and they're
listening to you what advice do you have
for them you know hey look you know this
idea of of you being depressed that is
not a personal weakness it's not a lack
of faith it is just what it is so you
know the the pain is overwhelming at
this point and what you need is tools to
help you you know get out of the pain
please pleas reach out to your friends
call a hotline you know talk to your
family doctor talk to your um family um
family members just do it for your own
self as well and you know what if we can
last this day we never know the goodness
that tomorrow is going to bring to us
and that's the whole idea of just you
know seeing the light at the end of the
tunnel you know and and and the sad
reality is you know uh a bend in the
road is not necessarily the end of the
road so it may just be that turn that
you need and then you will see the light
at the end of it thank you thank you so
much and again we started with peace we
end with peace thank you so much may God
Almighty the Creator reward you for
being with us here amen thank you and
thank you for sitting tight to another
episode of D some great advice some
great advice from the experts and that's
why you come here to learn to learn
every week we're here trying to bring
you another episode and if you want to
learn more about the most misunderstood
way of life yet the fastest growing way
of life and this way of life will bring
nothing but joy and peace into one's
life but you got to have the tools and
one of the first tools to start with and
you can get it for free is by calling
the 1800 662 Islam number that's the
verbatim word of God that's right it's
the Quran so if you like to get your
copy give us a call today and for any
questions that you might have even
criticisms are welcome we can start a
healthy dialogue that's right and we'll
s see you next time here in the dean
show until then peace be unto you and if
we're going to worship something I
figured I might as well worship the
Creator instead of any of the
Creations now in upon investigating all
the religions I remember finding out the
meaning of what Islam is what a Muslim
is those who surrender theirself to God
is a Muslim those who surrender submit
to God God's will that is it Islam was
pure it was just you just pray to God
your
creator but I am not afraid of stand
alone I am not afraid to stand alone if
a Lies by I am not afraid to stand
alone I am not afraid to stand alone if
Li by I am not afraid to stand
alone I am not afraid to stand alone if
a li I am not afraid to stand alone
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