eyes for Allah nothing but Allah the
beginning alhamdulillah Alum peace be
unto you welcome to the dean show guess
who we got back at the dean show I told
you he'd be back in August and September
1st and we like to welcome back with us
again I'm very happy to introduce my
brother for those of you that don't know
who our brother is we're going to take
30 seconds real quick be right
[Music]
back
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okay so now that you know who he is and
that you see that he has the credentials
because we don't have a car mechanic
here that we're asking these questions
we have a good brother who's taken the
time and dedicated his life to study
this beautiful way of life that every
Muslim should be
living um yaser cardi I get um many
people emailing me now asking me
questions and I I always I'm I encourage
people to send their emails so when I
have an opportunity to sit on with
someone like you that we can ask these
questions so in this session we're going
to do a Q&A is that okay where I'm going
to ask you what you guys my audience and
the viewers who tune in to the dean show
feel free anytime to send your questions
in that you want me to ask my guests
like we're doing today okay so this
individual and these individuals have
sent some questions and this one we're
going to be talking with um the first
question uh relates to men and women
okay boys and girls all right this is a
Hot Topic so first question we're going
to that's asked is what kind of
relationship can the opposite sex have
with each other
okay uh the the issue of of of gender
relations and and the status of each
gender in Islam it is one of the most uh
important issues of Islam and that is
because of the simple fact that Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala created Mankind and
he divided them into male and female as
Allah says in the Quran that oh
Mankind we have created you and
basically made you male and female so
the only biological division that Allah
subhana wa T has inherently placed in US
is the division of male and female Allah
Allah does not differentiate amongst us
based upon our skin color based upon the
language we speak based upon how tall or
short or broad or thin we are all of
these things are something that Allah
doesn't base uh does not uh you know
differentiate between us but there is a
difference in men versus women Allah
created men different than he created
women now having said that there's a
difference we have to ask ourselves what
is that difference does that mean that
Allah gave men more blessings than he
gave women does that mean that just
because a man is a man he's going to
enter paradise and a woman is woman her
chances of entering Paradise are are are
diminished no this is where Islam has a
very different perspective Islam says
spiritually speaking islamically
speaking men and women are the same in
the sense that Allah subhah wa tal will
not reward a man just because he's a man
or reward a woman because she's a woman
or punish a woman because she's a woman
no spiritually speaking each gender has
the same chance of redeeming themselves
and entering Jenna spiritually speaking
if I do a good deed and a woman does a
good deed the rewards of those good
deeds will be exactly the same barring
other factors so gender does not play a
role in status in the sight of Allah
Allah says in the Quran the most Pious
amongst you are those who have the most
ta tawa means the fear and the love of
God Allah doesn't say if you're male or
female it's irrelevant so the reason why
I prel my comments with this is to to
make us understand spiritually speaking
men and women are indeed equivalent
however men and women are biologically
are mentally are physiologically are
emotionally different therefore Allah
subhana wa ta'ala gave laws and duties
and roles to each gender that were
specific to them and this is important
to realize because people say how come
Islam discriminates against women no
Islam doesn't discriminate against women
spiritually but Islam does have
different rulings for men and different
rulings for women and so you can say
Islam discriminates against men just as
it discriminates against women the man
is responsible for earning the money not
the woman this is discrimination if you
like I have to earn for my wife my wife
doesn't have to earn for me I have to
take care of the kids my wife doesn't
have to do that islamically in the sense
of of of you know providing for them and
feeding them and and sustenance and
nourishment similarly women have a
different role each role is
complimentary it's not meant to clash
it's not meant to to to to you know to
to fight over each role no each role
helps and complement the other role and
we need both roles in society in order
to go further so with that Pur now we
get to the question of gender relations
gender relations is a very important
issue because there is a natural and an
unnatural aspect to gender relations a
natural aspect is that every single
human being requires a person of the
opposite gender to be full a man
requires a woman and a woman requires a
man if one of the two is missing if one
of the components of this duwel pair is
missing then the other component will
feel deficient and that is why Allah
says in the Quran that of his miracles
is that he has created from amongst you
spouses it's a miracle from Allah of his
signs that he's created a spouse from
amongst you why Allah says so that you
can find peace in her you can find
Serenity in her and you can live
together in peace and Harmony this is a
verse in the Quran meaning if you don't
have a spouse you're not complete that's
a natural part of being human is to have
a woman whom you love and you cherish
and that woman loves you back and cares
for you and nourishes you you need that
pair and this is of the Miracles of
Allah that he created man and woman
wanting and Desiring one another so
there's a natural element to that desire
and there's an unnatural element as well
that unnatural element is that a man and
a woman have this relationship outside
the bonds of marriage and they do things
that will disrupt the fabric of society
so our religious laws called the Shar it
aims for enhancing the natural
interaction and for diminishing the
unnatural interactions okay and that is
of the goals of the Shar therefore
gender interactions are a very Central
role in our Shar our legal law our
religion wants us to get married it's a
commandment from the prophet sallallahu
alaihi wasallam that he told us that oh
young men amongst you if you're able to
then get married do so and he said
marriage is a part of my tradition the
tradition of Islam whoever leaves that
tradition has left my tradition whoever
leaves marriage has abandoned my
tradition so we're encouraged to get
married why because it helps us be human
beings it makes us express our love our
desires our feelings our sexuality in a
natural and permissible way this is what
the Shar encourages what it discourages
is to have these bonds outside the fold
of marriage with this goal in mind
basically the Shar asks men and women to
take care of themselves with a proper
modesty and decorum to dress in a
certain way and to act in a certain way
men have their requirements and women
have theirs therefore the Shar requires
men to dress in a certain code loose
clothing the the the private parts
covered make sure that they don't you
know speak with women in inappropriate
Manner and the women are also required
to dress in a specific manner that is
appropriate for them look likewise in
terms of interaction there is no harm in
speaking with the opposite gender at all
even if you're related or unrelated as
long as there's a reason to number one
and number two is done with the proper
etiquette in other words you know uh
speaking in a vulgar manner speaking in
a flirtatious or CSH manner these are
things that our Shar prohibits when it's
done outside the full the bonds of
marriage why because there's no good to
be gained out of it you're only asking
for trouble when you open this door upon
yourself so when it comes to marriage as
we said it's fostered and when it comes
to outside of marriage it is diminished
the question arises how does one go
about finding a spouse how does one find
that person that they want to to spend
the rest of their lives with here there
are some basic guidelines of the basic
guidelines is we are completely allowed
to speak with those whom we're
interested in uh to become a partner to
to marry we're allowed to meet them to
visit them uh we're allowed to ask
questions and and and and to do what we
can uh in terms of of of finding out
about the other partner but the one
thing that we're not allowed to do is to
take that relationship to a love where
our religion would uh you know be
prohibited so of the things that have
been prohibited in our religion is to
obviously the the the greatest
prohibition will be actual Intimacy in
other words the actual Act of of sexual
relationship this is completely
forbidden except within the bonds of
marriage another issue that the prophet
Sall alaihi wasallam forbade was to be
alone with a person of the opposite
gender uh who was outside the the the
the the close relations like your sister
your mother your your your daughter to
be alone with them where people can't
see you because when you're alone with
with them again you're only asking for
trouble you shouldn't be alone with them
if you meet it should be in the presence
of other people because when you're in
the presence of other people there will
be a certain sense of of of