in
brothers sisters alhamdulillah for
really coming to this very important
event now there is a Hadith of the
Prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam it's
narrated
by and it just goes to explain why we
are addressing this particular
particular issue and he mentioned in
this Hadith that the companions used to
ask the prophet sallallahu alaihi
wasallam about the about the good but I
used to asking about the sh the evil for
fear that it might catch hold of me so
this is an important principle that part
of our responsibility as Educators as
teachers as guides as du okay in terms
of enjoying God for being evil is
exactly that responsibility to war not
just Muslims but the whole of society
because remember this message that we're
talking about The Message of Islam is
really a shifa for all of humanity and
it provides solutions for most of the
human ills and evils which are out there
so this is our responsibility because if
we allow evil to
spread then this is going to affect
everyone now one of the things often
that Muslim parents say to me is this
they say to me that don't talk to my
children about these particular issues
because if you talk to them about them
then they'll get these ideas into their
head and they're more likely to do it
now again this is much more of this is
this basically this attitude is called
brushing everything under the carpet
living in denial and I've got to say the
reality of what we call the
pornification of society the over
sexualization which is taking place it's
a global
epidemic where pornography is something
which is so widespread so accessible and
as I'll explain so addictive so
corrosive so destructive to Society to
spirituality to everything about porn is
one of the most anti-human things that
you can do and I'm going to prove this
not just from an Islamic Source but most
of the sources I'm going to use are from
the generic research which is out there
from the community which is anti-n
community because they see the impact of
the destructive impact that it's having
in particular on the younger generation
because we now have an unprecedented
episode in uh you know what we call uh
pornography and what porn the porn that
is being being presented to society so
we've got to be aware of this evil if
you think your children are are
innocent I wish they were I wish their
fitra is
intact but the nature of this Society is
such that porn is everywhere in fact
many people now and many of the
academics and the leading kind of uh uh
thinkers in this particular area they
say that porn is now so embedded in
mainstream pop culture it's not
something which is an embarrassment you
know going back in the days it used to
be a bit of an embarrassment it used to
be something which people saw as a bit
of a joke you know top shelf dirty old
men in overcoats going with crumpled
Brown you know bags taking these
magazines out you know it was
inaccessible to most people most people
were embarrassed and shy about it you
know you have now mainstream individuals
just give you an idea you know this is
one example n Joel farage who's a head
of a political party it's not a
political point he spoke about the fact
that he goes to strip clubs he was not
embarrassed about the fact that he goes
to strip clubs and watches lap dances
and he felt that oh this is not sexist
at all this is a leader this is a
so-call leader in this Society who's
saying such a thing when this is a
behavior would he allow his own daughter
and sister to do such a thing to dance
for money in front of other people who
are just looking at her as a piece of
meat not as a human being with a soul
you know and this is why porn one of the
aspects of porn I'm going to explain
porn is really about justice as well
that you would treat we our basic Etha
as Muslims treat others as we would want
to be treated ourselves we give Justice
to humanity this is part of AD our
Justice imperative to allow someone to
be prostituted treated like meat used
abused and discarded which is what
happens to girls who are in the porn
industry they're just used abused and
discarded like pieces of me as
insignificant trash and nothing would we
allow that for our sisters and daughters
so we can't allow it for anyone Els
anyone else's sister and daughter that
just go to show you the main mainstream
aspect of it porn has become mainstream
because you see it in pop videos you see
on billboards you see in magazines it's
on your phone it's on your Bluetooth
it's on your internet it's on every
single communicative medium not only
just porn whether it's in rap videos
whether it's in the lyrics of songs Just
give you an idea how mainstream porn has
become now the biggest selling book last
year is called 50 Shades of Gray it's a
porn book it's a book which is about
sedom masochism and I excuse the
listeners I'm going to use particular
language I can't shy away from this
language this is the language of the
street I'm going to be try to be as
modest as possible in my conduct but I'm
going to have to use particular language
okay to explain what we're talking about
here to show us the real reality of what
we're confronted with and that how we as
Muslims need to be at the Forefront of
the anti- pornification of society
movement see look 50 Shades of Gray is a
book about s masochism about a housewife
who allows a man to beat her whip her
torture her humiliate her and guess what
she loves
it and this is the biggest selling book
that was there last year they're going
to make the film of it now A Book Like
That 5 10 15 years ago would have been
nothing would have been would have been
laughed about
but again it shows also that those
people who are advocating for justice
for women they're failing as well that
women now think oh this is perfectly all
right porn is fun it's something which
is a diversion actually I can exercise
my freedom of choice and do these kind
of things so this is going to show you
the the the perversion that's taking
place porn is like I said has become
mainstream you know you've got uh and
and even politicians are talking about
this now what they call the
sexualization of society Cameron's
talking about it but it's a bit late for
Cameron to talk about it as they say you
know they're trying to close the door
now the horse horses very much bolted a
long time ago they want to put more
filters on the internet to prevent
children from accessing pornography it's
too late you deregulated you liberalized
all of these industries which are
related to this gambling okay alcohol uh
you know the the the sex industry all of
these were deregulated censorship was
deregulated as a result you liberalize
Society now you want to close it down
and you can't close it down because
there you know just to give you an idea
there are 24 million 24 million porn
sites around the world just to give you
an idea some of the statistics that
we're talking about here in terms of uh
uh the level you know of this activity
that's taking place you know 24
million uh you know 24% of internet
searches directly related to pornography
24 million porn sites 68 million daily
searches for pornography 72 million
people visiting porn regularly every
month okay 13,000 porn videos produced
or porn films produced every year and
Hollywood only produces 600 so it's the
most prolific film industry in the world
28,000 viewers every second we're
talking about the power of mass media
here and social media now this is how
this is a big game Cher 28,000 people
we're losing a
battle we are losing a battle in terms
of obviously we have our brothers and
sisters alhamd have come here we've got
the tens and 20s coming to the mids and
to the talks and things like that 28,000
people per second
$33,000 per second it is a $ 13.3
billion industry that's bigger than
Amazon bigger than eBay bigger than
Microsoft shows you the size of this
industry it is a capitalist machine that
is driven by exploitation of the
vulnerable this multi-billion pound
injury now just to give you an idea
mobile phone porn $1 billion a year now
420 420 million Pages 89% of all the
porn in the world comes from the United
States I I I I didn't get the statistics
on who the biggest consumers are I think
someone might be able to give us that
facts later but what's interesting when
you do look at the consumption figures
for pornography in proportional terms
Middle East South Asia these are some of
the highest consumers of this porn
around the world now the age as M
mentioned most the the average age at
which and this affects obviously this is
an epidemic for young men our
sons who if we don't control this
Behavior will go on to become dis
sexually dysfunctional unable to sustain
normal relationships and potentially
violently sex sexually violent towards
women and sexual abuses this is the
reality the research it says this the
big cover up is that people want to say
oh just because people watch porn it
doesn't mean that they're going to rape
the research it shows that this is what
the research says people who regularly
watch porn are have decreased empathy
for violence against women why because
they're immersing themselves in a
culture in which women are being
tortured gagged choked slapped sworn at
urinated on and the list goes on because
I have to be sensitive to our
audience if you're watching this
material
and your heart this is the the key thing
in all of the POR discourse you'll find
out there no disagreement upon it it
causes D
sensitization you get dumb down you get
numb to what you're actually watching so
you have decreased empathy for violence
against women for rape against women you
feel people who are watching porn in
this way immersed in porn they said
women dressed provocatively deserve to
be
raped and it's not just Pro V atively
see this is the thing about the really
perverse genres of porn out there
they've they've made it such because the
nature is it as I'll explain is that in
order to capture the audience still to
give the new type of porn they come up
with all kinds of bizarre and novel
ideas Arab girl porn Pakistani girl porn
Okay uh Pakistani girl gets gets gang
graped porn that's that's what we've got
out there as they try
to because what it is is that once
you've watched one level I'll explain it
in the addiction process how the
psychology and the uh like I said the
you know the process in terms of how the
brain is affected by porn but once
you've watched one level of porn you you
you develop a
tolerance and then you start constantly
seeking a harder hit a more degrading
porn a more violent porn they
interviewed uh child rapists in prison
in America research on child rapists in
prison these guys first time they raped
a child even mentioning that is
something which is is reprehensible even
just think of that Islam is a religion
which is about protection of children
you know the female child buried alive
you
know he said for what crime was I
killed that Ayah is an imperative for us
to protect children so child rapists
were asked okay you know when they did
they watch child pornography and to give
you an idea there are 100,000 websites
out there which are child porn websites
100,000 of them and then there are many
many other thousands and thousands of
porn sites which are called barely legal
it's a type of genre which the girls
look underaged but they say it's their
legal IE over 18 to perform that and the
whole idea is that guys get off on
seeing barely legal children being
sexually abused in every AR office
that's what they get off on and uh so
these rapists these child rapists they
were asked you know the first time they
saw child porn what was they feeling and
they said we they were disgusted when
they saw child porn for the same first
time then after the first experience
this is the thing as we know when a
black spot is placed in your heart when
you sin you have a weakness now it pulls
there's a pull porn gives you a pull
back to it unless you reboot reprogram
and decode all of that programming I'll
explain how that's going to be done
inshallah you know you you you know and
so they pulled back to it and then they
started actually watching the child porn
6 months later they raped a
child that's what it did child porn you
know we wouldn't have managed 20 years
ago that incest porn would be something
which would become a norm in society why
has incest porn become a norm in society
the reason it has is because I said if
Paul por became
mainstream then what happened to the
porn
industry they had to get more and more
harder and harder and more and more
extreme because they said you know if
most pop videos are now what would be
considered 10 15 years ago was
pornographic remember the stuff that
happened on TV a couple years ago that
there were pop you know on the Saturday
night shows X Factor and the likes there
were performances by various artists
that caused enormous amount of
complaints because they were considered
as pornographic so that they clamp down
a bit so that just goes to show you
pre-watershed 9:00 p.m. in this country
you know they've got uh uh pornographic
material and the reality unfortunately
now is on terrestrial TV they have a
whole re series of softn soft porn
channels now so if that's gone
mainstream that is and it was in the sun
anyway soft porn was always in the page
three the fact that a mainstream Tablo
paper the most popular paper in this
whole country it's iconic page is Page
Three a page where a woman is topless
that men buy it for this purpose in
itself shows what kind of society that
we're living in what is the real respect
and value for women if this is a iconic
paper and I I understand the sun want to
get rid of it I don't know how if
they've got rid of Page Three yet but
there are other papers who are just
waiting to take that that paper's place
if it does get rid of it so if porn went
mainstream then what happened to the
porn industry the porn industry then
realized okay that we have to go harder
and harder
and that's how porn has become part of
the culture and embedded so this new
type of porn this is what the internet
has done the big game changer of the
internet you see they couldn't have done
this with just magazines and how
pornography and strip bars and and
prostitution was there how it did it is
that Gonzo porn is this new porn Gonzo
porn is a degrading violent format I
gave evidence at the Children's
commissioner's inquiry she doing a
commission inquiry into and at the house
of comments uh they're going into
inquiry into child sexual exploitation
the work that I do with young offenders
we found out that young men were
watching this porn in groups together
smoke smoking and taking alcohol and
drugs together and then what guess what
they were involved in abusing girls
together it's a natural progression that
one thing led to another thing led to
another thing now they're watching gono
porn because the porn makers in the
industry this multi-billion pound
industry that continue wants to continue
to make uh money realize the only way we
can do it is by producing things that
people haven't seen
before and there are formats out there
which are so abhorent for example there
is a format around rape there's rape
porn it's something called revenge porn
now which is like when you get your own
back on someone then you do you know a
porn film about them or something like
this you know one of the worst uh
there's things called double penetration
where you know multiple males will
penetrate a woman in every
orifice and even that is considered a
soft porn now a
soft how can something like that be
considered as
soft and and and the whole
desensitization process people watch
this and they don't bat I see part of
the process of getting over the
indiction as I'll show you is
understanding what's going on what
they're doing to your brain what Shan
and his aah are doing to your
brain when you understand this you
realize the sickness of this then you
start to pull away from such an abusive
and corrosive
Behavior another format is called
ATM and this is a format and and I have
to excuse you but I want people to wake
up to the reality of what's out there
and this format is is called and and
this is the software anus to mouth and
it means penetrating a woman's anus then
after uh you know orally raping
her again what you know what are you
saying about women when you allow this
kind of behavior to take place in
society and and someone watches this
uncritically and and and as I said
children young men our young men all of
the young men in our society that I care
about are being exposed to this at the
age of 11 by the age 16 to 18 some
statistics say 60% others say 80% of men
of young men have been exposed to porn
and watch it 80%
and as I'll show you even the first
experience that you have of porn leaves
a trace leaves damage in the brain that
can't be
reversed that's the nature of
pornography leaving us aside the fact
that what we have here you know you are
not looking at this woman as a woman as
a sister as a daughter there are so many
books out there of survivors of the porn
industry who are now speaking out
against this par this this you know
absolutely reprehensible Wicked
industry it is a hate crime a hate crime
it is hate speech do you know if I said
this kind of stuff about a non-muslim a
Muslim said this about a non-muslim the
kind of stuff that is said in these
videos the treatment the torture the
humiliation the
degradation the uh the abuse the violent
language if I use that as a Muslim to a
non-muslim
I would be convicted under the
anti-terror laws under incitement to
religious hatred etc etc so how can this
stuff even be legal it's because it's a
multi-billion pound capitalist industry
that is about exploitation that's why
and it's about destroying societies and
this is why the other aspect of it I
call it the PE bomb the porn bomb you
heard me say before you know there's a
general in I think ' 80s he says we
don't need to bomb countries all we need
to to do is send them Baywatch that was
in the ' 80s Baywatch is a program uh
and they had scantly clad women in this
particular Pro program what does he say
what does he mean by this comment he
means socially re-engineering
societies societies that were
conservative had strong values had a you
know particular status quo as soon as
satellite television came into those
societies they became Global then those
societies their value system started to
change and we've seen you know Yemen's a
prime example of the parts of Yemen I
heard about Villages which were
conservative you know which were very
you know had their values strong
conservative Islamic values as soon as
the satellite dishes are purged all over
the place people started to access porn
all around the world free porn it's free
as well and there's a reason it's free
because it creates an addiction then the
person then starts to pay afterwards CU
every drug Pusher will give you the
first uh uh drug that he gives you the
first spliff the first line of cocaine
it's always free to hook you on and then
it becomes your lifestyle and you become
completely immersed and addicted in it
so this is the porn bomb it's a global
bomb now one of the interesting articles
I read in The Economist it was what is
the uh similarity between Iceland not
the uh that's not the shop by the way
that's the country Iceland and uh Saudi
Arabia what's the what's the similarity
and the similarity is that both Iceland
now Iceland like a lot of the other you
know although it's not a Scandinavian
country but like Sweden and L the other
scandinav Scandinavian countries it's
got a very liberal attitude towards sex
and they had strip bars and they had sex
shops and all of that kind of stuff in
there but Iceland has decided to ban
online
pornography just like Saudi Arabia has
obviously got a ban on online
pornography although there's other ways
that it comes in why because anyone who
thinks rationally is recognizing the
impact that is having on this next
Generation cuz we're not talking about
pornography anymore we're talking about
humiliation and degradation kids 11 12
13 exposed to this material watching
hours and hours of it a day how it's
changing their social attitudes and what
we're creating is a future where these
children will then come go on to become
abusers like I said in the research okay
you know uh is it women dressed
provocatively deserve to be raped some
more of the research that young men who
watch pornography became angry when a
woman who they made advances to refused
their
advances and they feel that they have
what we call
entitlement now anyone who knows
anything about sexual exploitation and
sexual abuse Jimmy savvo was the biggest
most prolific sexual abuser that there's
been in this country over a thousand
individuals he has alleged to have
abused 450 of been
identified he operated with impunity he
thought he could do what he wanted no
one challenged his behavior the other
thing entitlement anyone who I want to
grope abuse and have sex with well I can
have sex with that's the same thing that
porn does to you it creates this idea
that oh why does this woman refuse my
advances you know why isn't she just
accepted me who it this is the next
thing research is s is that pornography
decreases your interest in your own wife
in a healthy normal sex sex life why
because you become the addiction to porn
means this that you get such a hit on
this and and I'll explain the whole
process you get such a hit from watching
porn that your normal sex life something
which is boring boring and you become
des de sensitized to and the last part
of this research what is identified
there is an increased coercion of your
wife or your partners and I've dealt
with this as a counselor where you know
wives have complained how their husbands
have forced them to do an engage in
violent sexual acts forced them to do
this and when we've investigated why I
often ask why did you do this you find
that that husband has been watching
pornography and he's trying to enact the
the porn formats in his own marital life
and again treating his wife like a porn
star rather than you see in Islam look
at how Allah subh he mentions the whole
idea of of marriage you know in
this Allah from the man his partner they
live together in
tranquility and
he and from that comes love and mercy so
what defines the relationship in Islam
is Rah love and mercy compassion
softness emotional care support kindness
creating Tranquility in the home porn as
a format is about humiliation
degradation abuse there's no love you
see one of the aspects a lot of uh uh
research in this field they say you can
see there's no love in porn because
there's no kissing it's all about you
know the sexual act and even in the
sexual act you see one of the things
that is what they call in porn and this
in itself sums up how porn is completely
misogynistic misogynistic you know often
people say Islam is a religion which uh
you know treats women as second class
and has a misogynistic
Tendencies not the true Islam of the
Prophet sallallah Al and the Sunnah the
most misogynistic culture in the world
is a culture which allows these
mediums which completely dehumanizes
thousand and then what you have as a
result of the pornification of society
is that girls now aspire to be lap
dancers to be porn stars glamour models
in fact when they had a survey in this
country a couple years ago about what
kind of careers girls would want those
are the kind of careers that came in the
top
10 why because there's a pornification
child I've got all the research I
haven't got time to go through all of it
because i' got a lot to get through uh
you know what was identified children as
young as 9 10 11 being sexualized by all
these mediums you have lingerie
companies launching sexy lingerie for 11
and 12 year olds with with you know
insignias on that on on the underwear
you know that was being sold it was an
Insignia and this is again pornification
of the mainstream you go into a shop you
see it you know a thong for 11 or 12y
old a g string for with words written on
it call me call
me this is a mainstream company that
produced this particular M I don't even
want to talk about there's another
mainstream artist just this week Main
stream company in this Society
Littlewoods catalog produced a bikini
range for
children so so what this is Again part
of this pornification children and
social media in fact you know what we
know in the children's uh commission's
inquiry shows this is the impact of the
poem that children are being exposed to
now that children are posting naked
images of themselves on Facebook
children and and through social media
and this is where what you call the
pimping out of children and what we also
have is various Social Media Signs
collecting these particular images as
well because they have a right as we
know the images you post they collect
them and they and they have access to
these particular images there's no
embarrassment or shame now associated
with the porn culture you know that
Hadith of the Prophet sallallahu alaihi
wasallam from the first parts of
Revelation is the words if you feel no
shame then do as you
wish it has two meanings that means when
you have
the sense of modesty ha comes from the
word it means life as the prophet said
is half of IM and is fundamentally that
before my Creator Allah I have a sense
of modesty and I guard my behavior and
have a sense of embarrassment and shame
shame and embarrassment modesty is a
joke in this Society it's a joke it's a
weakness you say oh it's a modest shy
person it's considered as something
which is rather you have to be a
sexualized you know uh
you know you know being this is the one
that is sees is seen as having approval
or Acceptance in in the society so again
it's that breaking down and that's why
as you if people feel no shame because
the the the boundaries have been broken
down so much that they will behave as
they will and it is and like I said this
porn is
anti-human
behavior it's anti-human not even
animals do what we're talking about if I
say it's animalistic that's this that's
dishonoring animal animals don't do you
see when we were talking about how will
Gonzo porn go to the next and so there
was a porn producer he was writing we'll
go for quadruple
penetration and they have this other
format which is about penetrating women
so much that it leaves them gaping you
actually call it you know watch the gape
that's what they call it animals don't
do that you know animals do not inflict
such harm on it so you can't even call
it am animalistic Behavior it is
antihuman behavior it's also anti- seex
see when people when I involved in this
debate with people I say I'm involved in
this debate I'm I campaign against porn
not because I'm a Muslim although alhamd
that informs my core values and who I am
and what I'm about is because this is
like I said this is an anti-human
behavior that destroys Society it
destroys the mind that we'll see it
destroys your body it destroys your soul
it destroys Society it destroys families
it destroys children's lives you know
it's responsible in so much aspects of
criminality and crime the list goes
on okay and it's also anti- seex you see
in Islam alhamdulillah we believe that
sex okay as Allah subh mentioned in the
Quran this is something you know Allah T
he's you know we have he's given us this
as a gift alhamdulillah it's a beautiful
thing in our religion sex is s it's
something which you rewarded for there's
a Hadith of the Prophet sallallahu
alaihi wasallam which states that the
prophet said when the husband gives
pleasure to his wife and they enjoy each
other they get a reward from Allah
subhana tala the companions on hearing
this were amazed you said when we enjoy
our wives are you saying that you know
we get reward he said yes because it's
something done in the Halal way I.E
within the institution of marriage and
not in the Haram way through fornication
and adultery and the Haram methods
outside of marriage this is something
which is rewarded by Allah subhana wa
ta'ala even when Allah look how Allah T
describes the relationship of a husband
and wife
there are garments for one another she
is a garment for you you are a garment
for her it's a beautiful description of
the intimacy of the love of the kindness
of the mercy of the softness of the of
the Tranquility of the mercy between two
people who are intimate with one another
porn destroys
masculinity because men think it means
being being man is about you know
abusing women in these ways it destroys
feminine inity because women think they
have to prostitute themselves and it
destroys
intimacy because people no longer have a
normal kind of sexual life it becomes
they have a totally distorted
programming and mo like I said men who
watch pornography become so
desensitized there's something called
porn induced erectile dysfunction
because uh it's so used to getting the
high from the porn that when they come
to their normal relationships they
unable to
function so is that not anti sex or if
that's you know and then on top of that
like I said men and women watching
pornography watching Men copulating and
men and women copulating making Zena
with one another something we should
feel so much Shame about embarrassment
about but we're so desensitized to that
watching Men in an aroused
State again it creates it blurs all of
these boundaries about what is
acceptable sexuality or not it
completely blurs all of this thing then
on top of that there's the violence
which is in
pornography like I said the slapping the
abusing the the the language the violent
language which is so mainstream I did a
session this week with the social
workers and I put up the rap video
lyrics on the wall and one uh attendant
attendant there one person who came to
the session who used to listen to that
particular artist Dr
Dre Dr Dre is not an annual rapper he's
a mainstream rapper he runs the
multi-billion pound industry he's
artists like Eminem and Little Kim and
all this kind of people he does these
beats headphones that's why I say
boycott Beats headphones don't you know
and our youth out there they want to buy
the Beats headphones it's the item to
have he is a person that pedals misery
and
Corruption and yet you know you got
mainstream celebrities selling his and
when I put the lyrics up they're so
obscene I can't even talk about them I
can't even mention the lyrics that he
puts up I put them up in terms of how he
was referring to women what has to be
done to women how they discarded and
abused afterwards person used to L
listen to lyrics they said I just
listened to it I didn't know he's saying
this kind of stuff now that I know he's
saying this kind of material I won't
listen to it Eminem you know he uses
same thing he says you know in another
he says you know you know he uses the b
word you don't think I won't choke no
[\h__\h] until the vocal cords in her
throat don't work no more this is
M&M I'm going choke you [\h__\h] till your
vocal codes cords don't work no more so
this is the kind of violent pornograph
pornographic language that we have as
well children consuming it uncritically
and so music and porn culture have also
and there's actually so much research
out there about how porn has got
embedded itself now in rap uh in rap
videos and in the music video culture
anyway and that's why the actual porn
industry had to go even harder and
harder okay porn is constructing
people's views of what is appropriate
and acceptable behavior and values
because our kids and this is one of the
most important things that just before
someone was asking they were having some
issues with their son who is on WhatsApp
all the time in a group talking to girls
and things like that they're concerned
you know about the Muslim son you know
having a relationship a boyfriend
girlfriend relationship and look the key
thing here is this one of the most
important things here in order to be
preventative to prevent our kids being
influenced by this evil in the future
let's talk to our kids we need to talk
to them about the risks out there in
society put the strong value system in
there so that they
become the Champions out there that are
championing for the truth and for
justice and for goodness and morality in
society not like their peers who are
doing the complete opposite we got to
talk to our kids we got to have a mature
open discussion with them and I say to
all my young uh brothers and sisters
here that if you have any issue that
you're going to be confronted with and
often this is about peer pressure people
putting pressure on you to watch
material they want to put pressure on
you to do this because even though
they're trying to destroy your f
they want to make you unpure and unclean
they want to destroy you that's what
they want to
do because they're going a gut people
want to pull you into the gut they don't
want you to Rise Above This there's peer
pressure out there the street is the
main educator for children at the moment
and the internet is the second is
another big educator forget about
schools schools are again failing in
providing strong value-based education
for our children the street and we know
this I presented this evidence this is
the kids that we work the street their
role models on the street negative role
models and the internet is their
educator so porn and Gonzo porn has
become their educator on on the streets
there so we need to talk to our kids and
they need to talk to us and if you feel
that you can't talk to your parents
because you're embarrassed you know you
know you're going to be embarrassed
talking to your parents then at least go
to someone else an uncle an older person
you can come to me anytime and I'll talk
to anyone confidentially I won't tell
anyone see I think some of our children
they fear oh you're going to label us
you're going to judge Jud us you're
going to tell our parents and things
like that no this is am we have to give
counseling and support to our children
who are vulnerable to these risks out
there in society we can't be with you
24/7 you see and the nature of it is
that it's so pervasive it's everywhere
so you've got to talk to someone don't
let the issues run I've I've given
counseling to to to people in their 20s
who started having problems 11 12 13
they suffered with them for years CU
there's no one that they go they could
go to and talk to about their problems
they had to suffer for years until they
could find someone and then open up with
their problem so please all my young
brothers and sisters here if you feel
that you're under pressure if some if
you feel that there are negative things
in your life then go and talk to you
know uh like I said an older person and
and someone who can give you some mature
guidance in this matter and we should
equip ourselves to deal with these
challenges which are out there in
society so the porn industry has
hijacked what is uh decency morality and
what is called a healthy approach to sex
and relationship issues is destroyed
that is destroy destroy the issue of for
example marriage it destroys the
foundation of marriage because really
you know most people they don't even a
partner now they're married to the
internet guys are married to the
internet they're watching hit after hit
after hit you know and uh the other
thing about the other aspects as we know
I touched on it you know porn is a mogy
is the most misogynistic medium in the
world it's hates porn hates women porn
produces hate women cuz if they if they
had any love for them then they wouldn't
produce this kind of
material and the sign the indicator of
that porn is so misogynistic is this
idea that you know there's something
called a money shot in porn this is the
most important thing in porn and this is
where and excuse the language a man okay
the the man then ejaculates over the
female cuz she's not even worthy of the
seed she's not even worthy of that she's
just going to be like I said you know
you just ejaculate over her and that's
it you know and and and work wor than
that and that shows you the misogynistic
aspect of this whole not only that it's
also about you know pornography also has
through it racism all the way through
this as well you know I couldn't use
racial stereotypes and as we know Islam
is completely Against Racism in every
one every way shape and form and racism
you know people say is unacceptable in
society but you know porn reinforces
every racist stereotype out there and
the genres of porn as well reinforce it
you know in rape porn why are the men in
rape porn
black generally that's the case why are
they black and the girls who are being
raped not black white what this is
profoundly racist I'm not saying this
all of the the researchers and key
advocates in this area are saying this
and I just want to talk about one of
them you know one of the N you know
Champions out there Gail dines is her
name she's a sociology professor and
she's done a lot of anti- porn work out
there and you know way we see people who
are doing good work like this we support
this because Allah says in the
Quran cooperate with one another upon
goodness and righteousness not upon sin
and transgression so this she's doing
good work in this field so you know we
should promote this and it's a good
website where she has good resources and
so she talks about this you know okay
these are the things she says that
because of the desensitization porn is
getting harder and harder boys are being
rared on cruel and violent pornography
11y olds she said 33% of 13 year olds
80% % of 60 year old 16 year olds 63% of
young people said they have ease of
access to pornography via their uh
phones okay and this she says they have
a profound long-term impact on society
an acceptance of violence towards women
also and and and uh uh and and she also
found in her research that uh in
American universities and the nurses
they were saying they were picking up
more and more cases of anal rape okay uh
again why because this is Again part of
it uh and you know I won't talk about
some of the other kind of worst stuff
she also said girls are accepting this
Behavior Girls I want to be porn stars
because they've realized that you know
uh this to be gain acceptance from males
you have to prostitute and pimp
themselves out so that's why the
clothing industry then feeds on this but
providing this sexualized clothing for
children as
well you know and then you know and and
this used to be a to Taboo as I said the
taboo of child uh sex this child sex
taboo has been broken
it's been
broken you know because of this now this
has changed in the last 20 years all
this so what's there going to be the
next 20 years unless we start to
challenge this Behavior like I said what
used to be a hidden and underground
culture is the mainstream culture out
there driven by this billion pound porn
industry that has celebrities driving
this and building bringing out harder
and harder corn that is dehumanizing and
like I said all of these different
genres which are out there I'm going to
come on to how porn is a drug
and in fact you know it's one of the
most addictive drugs you know in the
addiction work that I've done you know
it's up there with crack cocaine in
terms of its addictiveness and the
number of you know if you if you're
looking at the fact that you know we're
talking nearly 75 million people in the
world who watch porn regularly so then
have aspects of addiction one of the
aspect of addiction there you know
there's an addiction scale and one of
the things is when someone is pre overly
preoccupied with that you're spending
more time thinking about it and doing it
I've worked with guys who have been who
watch porn for hours and hours 5 six
hours at a time multiply masturbating at
the same time that's the kind of level
of uh addiction we're talking about
another aspect of a lot of addiction is
deception and lying people covering up
their behavior and you'll see that if
you're covering up your behavior okay
and one of the aspects I always say
about covering up Behavior you know it's
a sign that someone is a porn addict
they learn how to cover their behavior
up they they they have the window washer
program on and they clear their history
I always say you've cleared your history
but Allah hasn't cleared your history
Allah is aware of your history you see
sometimes it's part of the I've got rid
of my history no one will know Allah
knows Allah is fully aware of all action
this is why for us the Islamic framework
in terms of porn uh uh solving porn
addiction alhamdulillah is such a
blessing from Allah subhana tala as I'll
show you having looked at the other kind
of porn addiction treatments and
therapies what Allah has given us is
remarkable amazing in order and we can
share this with the whole of humanity I
want to go through the evils of porn I'm
going to list them all there's so many
the evils of porn desires and lusts are
increased it disc it makes us base it's
driven by base desires animalistic
desires destroys the character no
generosity it makes you selfish
self-centered individualistic concerned
about yourself it creates anger emnity
hatred towards other it sexualizes the
mindset and distorts reality because
people just looking at from that lens
that they have a sexualized lens of the
world porn leaves a mental imprint in
your brain and this is a lifelong
imprint but this is different theories
of of of of how our memory a porn image
will just stay
there it stays there as a print in your
brain and it can be rewired and you can
write other stuff over it which take it
but it will still be there okay it's a
destructive Behavior because of the
addiction that leads to
the the levels of perversion that comes
from it and as as I mentioned you know
some of the some of the formats I don't
even mention because I'm even shy to
even mention them and I mention incest
and child okay porn are just two of the
aspects of porn like I said these are
two boundaries that we that people have
gone through and and they are nonchalant
about okay it wastes your time it wastes
phenomenal amounts of time it creates
debt and financial problems people have
lost their jobs failed their exams lost
their families supporting the and and
you also supporting when you're watching
these you're supporting this whole
industry of the here you know we talk
about fighting against Shan and his aah
by supporting this whole industry by
watching that you're supporting this
whole industry like I said which is a
global epidemic of evil that is being
spread you're
supporting
exploitation you're supporting the
exploitation of these sisters and
daughters and
mothers by watching this particular
that's what I'm saying when you become
see the harsh reality of it and realize
this is not fun this isn't a release
this isn't something which is oh you
know gives me a bit of a break no you
supporting and the more you support it
you're there to you know we're on the
side of the oppressed not the oppressor
it destroys family relationships it
increases violence in the family
deception in the family there's physical
damage you know people who are multiply
masturbating at the time and the rousing
you you know this is the thing they
think this is something which is a part
of a good self life no you desensitize
yourself you damage yourself physically
and as a result this has a direct link
in terms of erectile dysfunction then
you can't go on to have a normal sex
life you're unable to then climax in a
normal way so you spir the spiritual
damage is so clear it destroys your
heart it destroys your it destroys your
it destroys your tawa it takes away
it destroys your this goes on in terms
of the spiritual damage reputational
damage you know like said because of the
you don't want to get caught it's all
hidden middle of the night no one's
there but you'll get caught your
reputation is at stake destroys like I
said it distorts your sexuality you know
you don't you prefer porn to your Mar
your wife that Allah has given so you're
doing to her believe the lies you know
you believe the lives and the lifestyle
that porn promotes so you're also B into
a lifestyle you know you've allowed
Shayan to control you you've rewired
your brain okay you're involved in
secret behavior and you become addicted
to this whole aspect of behavior so this
is you know now one of the aspects of
the and then I'm going to come one of
the aspects of pornification of society
is that it's destroyed
masculinity you see for us the
embodiment of masculinity is the prophet
sallallahu alaihi wasallam he's
described how to be a man of and we have
our code of conduct around this Al and
Al which is about chivalry protecting
for us masculinity is about balance of
using our physical characteristics to
protect and to safeguard to give Justice
to the creation to work hard to be Role
Models that's
masculinity not to be someone who is
there driven by base desires that long
list of stuff is that masculinity or is
it completely end of masculinity Robert
Jensen and another Advocate and uh
academic in this area he says porn is
the end of masculinity it destroys it
we're going backwards
centuries okay because of this porn that
is out there and porn is just out there
to facilitate one thing it's just
facilitating you know uh masturbation
for men that's it it destroys intimacy
because you now believe in force and
violence and this is the saturation of
this particular industry out there uh he
goes on to say 50% of physical
in his uh uh uh research on porn he that
80% of the scenes in porn have a
physical and verbal abuse element to it
okay and uh you know in what involving
hitting gagging choking language and
things like this uh you know and so it
teaches men that do masculinity is
dominant through Force humiliation
argumentation insulting and and
basically it says that you know
masculinity is about torturing
humiliating degrading and so therefore
it destroys it Islam alhamdulillah it
teaches us how to be a real man real man
as the
prophet as we know his Mercy to all the
masculinity is about okay you know mercy
and kindness and softness and
forbearance this is Mercy this is
masculinity that's not it's about
modesty before Allah and his creator
it's about generosity Kum it's about
safeguarding and protecting others it's
about protecting the weak and disen Fran
so this is again why Robert Johnson say
that porn is anti-human exploitative
behavior and finally Philip zimo is a
very very famous psychologist he also
talks about this calling the demise of
guys and he talks about this that this
all whole culture internet gaming
internet gaming and porn has destroyed
okay uh you know young people but he
said by the age of 21 kids have been
10,000 hours of watching gaming internet
and all this kind of stuff and this has
destroyed their social skills rewired
his he says he calls them digitally
rewiring of the brain cuz they're so
used to this arousal on the online
medium that they don't know how to
function in the real medium that's it we
don't we find that now and he shows that
he says girls women are outperforming
men in college in universities and all
of this this is a complete demise of
guys so this is Phil zimo is's a very
very famous uh American social
psychologist uh and he talks about this
this the impact that it's having in
terms of destroying social skills want
to move on now in terms of the porn and
R got two more aspects I'm going to
cover in you know I wanted to talk first
about the pornification in society now I
want to talk a bit about uh the the the
impact of of pornography on the actual
brain what it actually does
now the whole issue of you know porn
addiction is related to a chemical a
neurotransmitter in the brain it's
called
dopamine dopamine is the uh is the
basically you know it's a
neurotransmitter that is responsible for
our motivation it gives us a euphoric
State makes us feel high and feel really
good so whenever we have any pleasure if
it's like eating your favorite food
being with your favorite people all of
that kind of stuff then what it does is
that you have a dopamine release and it
gives you a motivation makes you it's
called Feelgood
factor and dopamine that's why dopamine
is linked to most addiction cocaine for
example same with porn in fact in the
research it shows that climaxing on porn
and cocaine that you know there is you
know cocaine gets give you a bigger high
but you know porn comes very close to it
but what's interesting about after the
the the cocaine high is a very quick low
whereas with porn it kind of continues
there's this idea of what you call uh
you know you know uh the actual term is
edging you know you're able to kind of
sustain the high with a porn high as
opposed to other high this makes it this
is what makes it more
addictive and what happens is this
because of dopamine you see and so
dopamine is this drug and so when you're
watching porn guess what massive
dopamine surge in the brain you're
feeling really
good and then you know obviously when
you arouse you come to a climax and you
have an orgasm as well because of self
like I said pleasuring then you have a
massive dopamine release in the
brain and then you like I said by and
then when you have that high obviously
come down but then You' got access to
the high again now the when I explain
this form of how addiction Works any
addiction I always say like for men now
you know for men imagine you're driving
around your favorite car you've got your
Ferrari out yeah there's a Ferrari
you're driving a Ferrari for a day when
you drive a Ferrari for a day you know
how's that going to make you feel
driving a Ferrari for a day good Buzz
cuz you're getting all that dopamine
surge in your brain when you put the
foot down what's going to go that's sign
you all that gives you a big big rush
next day you're going to have to drive
your Vox old
corser okay yeah where you going from
there to where hero to zero now the one
who's weak he wants to get back into the
Ferrari but you haven't got access to
the Ferrari if you become addicted then
you BEC pre then you see this aspects of
addiction preoccupation okay you know
Obsession compulsion all these other
things you start I need the money to get
the Ferrari I need the money to get the
Ferrari then then the next time you get
into the Ferrari guess what do you know
what it wasn't the same pleasure as the
first time I drove it so I need to drive
it for longer to get the same it's
called tolerance so next next aspect of
addiction you get the first Buzz then
you develop a tolerance so you need more
of it to get the same Buzz as before so
it starts to then control your life and
that's the thing you see porn the access
of porn is so easy it's not like a
Ferrari you get your first hit you come
down then you go for the next hit it
wasn't as good as the first time cuz the
material isn't as hard so I need harder
and harder material and more and more of
it can you see now how it starts to take
over your life and become addictive and
totally dominate you because of the and
then there's a feedback loop you see you
know with the dopamine and the
reinforcement around having that buzz
coming down and all the behavior which
is kind of associated I'm simplifying it
just to make it easy for everyone to
understand essentially that is it and
therefore you associate with porn
pleasure not
pain pleasure not pain so therefore you
always will go back to this now this is
actually uh something which is called
you know uh you know so so porn keeps
what you call dopamine surging it's
called synthetic simulation and as a
result of that you see why it's more
addictive is because what it is is that
you can continue to keep yourself edging
you can keep that that dopamine level as
high as possible by you see one of the
what porn addicts learn to do is this
that as they watch porn they arouse
themselves but they do not come to
Climax and then they continue to search
more and more points so they prolong
this period of a dopamine
high now as everyone knows when they
when you have dopamine highs when you're
artificially affecting your uh uh your
brain chemistry in this way this has a
long-term impact in terms of your
emotional and psychological and neural
well-being so this is what I'm saying
now what when you watch pornography the
impact of that is that it leaves
chemical Pathways in your brain so
watching it there's a chemical reaction
in the brain then that leaves that Trace
that's why that leaves that mental
imprint in there and it's just like the
of the Prophet sallallahu alhi wasallam
that when you sin Allah places a black
spot upon your heart it's a stain upon
your heart it's the same when you watch
porn the chemical reaction in your brain
leaves a pathway in you it rewires what
they call Neural Pathways it actually
causes the these and there's a very good
site out there it's called you know your
brain on porn and it explains all of
this in in you know with very good kind
of in great detail so therefore it
creates new neural Pathways new neural
connections and it and this is called
neuroplasticity and neurotoxicity so
what it is as a result of that what
wasn't there before now you have a trace
in that and that's similar to the
concept that we have in Islam about F we
are all born upon a pure F and then it's
our parents who make us into one
religion or another religion the purity
of our f is therefore affected by
influences in our life it causes taint
it causes you know uh like I said uh you
know you know irreversible Trends or
irreversible patterns to take place in
terms of our biological and neurological
programming that's what it does this is
also quite amazing because there are
theories which state that this this
neurological pathway stays
there and this is what Allah will hold
to account when Allah
says the seeing the hearing the
contemplation of every single one of you
Allah will inquire into it because
everything is in the brain recorded with
chemical Pathways and neural synapses
and these neural Pathways that Allah T
has I don't want to get too much into
this now just to give you an idea of the
biological basis of this as well is that
something called the coolage effect this
is a biological programming principle
that they did it's only an animal
research but the same principle that
says and this is when they had animals
rats in particular that were mating with
a one single mate when they were mating
with one mate after that mating process
was over they lost interest they lost
interest but then when they after that
when you put in what we call a novel
mate a completely new mate into that the
interest then goes up and the interest
continues to go up by putting in more
and more new mates into that rat cage so
the one male rat when he has one female
rat you know his his interest is down
put a new rat in there interest goes up
new rat in there interest goes up new
rat interest goes up this is called the
coolage effect and it revives the
interest of the N why because the rat is
getting a big dopamine Buzz every time a
new female is coming into that into that
cage this is what porn does it provides
you access to a new female every and
that's why guys who watch porn this is
the behavior they have they watch page
after page after page they go from one
to another they get hit from one hit hit
hit and going more extreme harder harder
harder more degrading more like I said
perverse more sicker and sicker and
sicker because the old stuff doesn't
interest them anymore and so this is
again uh you know all down to the
dopamine mechanism that we have now and
and as a result of that so when they go
back to their normal sex life okay when
they go back to their wife uh they're
not able to sustain a healthy
relationship with her if anything it
completely destroys that you know they
can't they go and in there was a big
Australian study that was done on this
and what they found is that guys who
collected porn never went back to the
porn that they collected they always
were looking for more extreme material
because the same old porn that they had
did not stimulate the same dopamine
release that they wanted they wanted
more and more arousal and it's that
arousal feedback mechanism that is what
is the addictive part and that's why the
porn industry like I said porn went
mainstream so the porn industry went
more Extreme More bizarre more kinky
more more is it uh Unlimited in terms of
what it can offer to the people and so
this is what they call the twin turbo
effect you know it keeps dopamine
surging through this synthetic and as a
result of this you lose interest in what
is and and that's why women who have
husbands it's not it's a really tragic
thing they are what we call porn widows
you know as a result of their husbands
watching this particular and it
completely destroys the relationship it
creates mistrust and all of these things
uh you know in in in that particular uh
kind of relationship so that's basically
how the uh kind of brain the the kind of
neurological processes work now the
symptoms of porn addiction this is going
to show you that you know you an
individual is falling first they lose
interest in real respect in real sex I.E
with their wife uh they lose interest in
this it becom something they're
desensitized to because this
desensitization they're not getting the
same Buzz they're not getting the same
dopamine level as they were by having
hit after hit after new after new after
new as I mentioned so they need you know
uh like I said and this is again creates
a disrespect it's like this what I'm
saying it's anti-woman it's anti- sex
it's anti-marriage it's anti all of
these because a person is selfish and
self-centered has no Kum or generosity
see the sexual act between a husband and
wife is Kum love mercy and it destroys
that you know uh so it creates that
negative masculinity now also what they
found is that the symptoms are point out
the person because preoccupied hours
they fail their exams it becomes an
obsession and this is why Again part of
the reprogramming proc process you can
only the only all of the the
psychosexual work in this they say you
only reprogram yourself from this
addiction by completely abstaining now
Allah says in the
Quran Allah has made beloved to the
Believers IM and has beautified it in
their hearts so for a Believer we love
what is good and
righteous and we hate that which is of
it disbelief sinning and transgression
so this is a you have to abstain and
have a hatred or a disgust for this
particular nature because that's the
only way you start changing the chemical
Pathways in your brain in relation to
that if you have one
iota even the slightest liking not
likening for it it's a gravitational
pull back to it you will be pulled back
to it and because of the obsessive
compulsion nature of it people and again
other symptoms people lose their jobs it
causes you to lose your
control and people do relapse even when
people do leave it then they up going
back to it and back to it and often
people have some some people have what
we call a porn binge which is again that
they just like like Bing drinking they
will spend hours and hours I had one
referral from the mental health Team
here it was a young man who was watching
it 6 hours a day and he was masturbating
about seven or eight times a day and you
let me tell you there was no he was in
no it was there was no pleasure it was
just pure Obsession and addiction now
one of the ways I got him off it is
because he was isolated he didn't have a
social network a positive social network
of people so it was about introducing to
to him to a pos positive social network
the other thing he was a Muslim boy his
mom and dad were stopping him from
getting married
we know that we have ways to prevent
this hijab obviously you know the issues
around
hijab marriage all of these things you
I'm going to touch on them in a minute
in relation to the protective measures
that we have but if parents are stopping
their child from getting married for
cultural reasons as is of in the case
and you know this is a person who's very
sexually repressed not excusing it but
this is a manifestation of this
particular Behavior you know he was
isolated he needed friends positive
friends good friends and involved in
more of a social life rather than you
see this is what happens with porn
addicts they become isolated and then
they find other porn addicts that they
connect with not good Companions and
that then compounds them in their uh
what is it uh porn addiction but not
only that there's another worst aspect
of it as well because there are people
who are predatory pedophiles out there
who seek other like-minded individuals
so that they can watch porn together and
be involved in the next steps of porns
which are then to try to put this into
practice by grooming and identifying
vulnerable children out there to to
abuse as well so this is again an aspect
of it so what I did with this particular
young man is I noticed he was you know
if he can spend 6 hours doing this kind
of stuff a day I got him to do a
15minute out high intensity workout with
kettle bells he was absolutely naked he
had no energy left so there's no way he
was going to do anything after that so
this is part physical sport and activity
you know for our kids now unfortunately
spend too much time playing with his
thumbs and not enough time out there
doing proper sports and recreation I'm
tell you you know that that that is a
very positive thing now symptoms
erectile dysfunction orgasm problems
people can't climax again it causes this
depression anxiety and stress emotional
well-being is affected why because
people who watch porn are affected by
emotions of guilt of fear of secrecy
okay that's why they you know and it's
so people are so guilty they're
conflicted they know what they're doing
is bad they don't want anyone to find
out of it these are not good emotions
that's why a lot of the individuals are
work with psychosexual problems how
sometimes often have a porn addiction
history okay particular when people have
premature ejaculation again one of the
aspects of this is that porn because
it's a secretive Behavior it's something
you do Secret something that you want to
do quickly and as a result of that then
that then has an impact in terms of how
they get conditioned in their in their
you know in their married sex life so
this is again something effects of that
another aspect of the symptom of porn
addiction is people need porn to start
feeling good it's just like the same
same thing I said about drugs people
need that drug that spliff that line
whatever to feel good and the same thing
it makes them feel good good physical
harm and damage they're getting tired
socially excluded and withdrawal a lot
of people who are watching are addicts
also lose their self-esteem and
confidence they lose their inability
have positive social skills to relate to
people it also because of the dopamine
mechanism here dopamine as I said
affects motivation but if your
motivation dopamine feedback mechanism
is only related to pornography it's only
porn that motivates you everything else
demotivates you so you have low
motivation this is described by a lot of
theorists as what they call brain
fog this inability to really think
straight and that's why this type of
addiction is no different and that's why
it's Haram just like all the other forms
of addiction is no different than what
Allah says in the
Quran you
know alcohol and Al gambling see it
comes from the word it means brain fog
befuddling of the Mind something what
puts a covering of the mind which causes
you to inability to rationalize and
think straight
so that's what porn it does the same
thing as that uh
desensitization uh course your dopamine
receptors as I said they decline okay uh
increased tolerance means that you need
more of intensity nerve ending go
sensitive all that kind of stuff yeah uh
so what can we do about this now so is
there a way we can reboot rewire the
brain and yes there is of course like I
said although you know a lot of theories
around porn addiction what they'll say
is that it's irreversible the stain
and that's why I say to my young
Brothers here and
parents protect your children as much as
you're possible from ever being exposed
to this
material because when you're exposed to
it it leaves a stain as I said it's
regrettable that in our society it's
gone mainstream you see you know when we
talk about free mixing when we talk
about these matters and I'm going to
talk about what Allah look at the E
Allah says in
the
and Allah says tell the believing man to
lower their gaze and protect their
private paths this is purer for them so
the etiquette for the Muslim man
lowering of the
Gaze you know we don't do it in this
Society we're
desensitized you see lowering of the gay
means you know when you watch TV you
know there are women there who are even
you know on on current affairs programs
women who are sexualized even on current
affair programs you know on on what even
on children's TV Subhan Allah
you know Billboards magazines
everywhere we're desensitized to that so
we've already on a global level this is
a global epidemic we've already become
desensitized you know magazines are in
and we are scantly clad women we watch
and see all the time and we're
desensitized to that just goes to show
you the neuroplasticity that you know
our brain you know so it's already
happened let's minimize this you know as
much as we can we have to try try to
minimize the impact on this so that our
children don't have to therefore rewire
so the rewiring of the circuitry of the
brain the re balancing of the brain we
can reverse it and we can return back to
normal uh sensitivity alhamdulillah you
know we are able to do this and change
you know the patterns of the brain and
the way that we do this reversal process
is by avoiding pornography avoiding the
behaviors that mimic pornography avoid
surfing as much as possible that ENC and
avoid the fantasizing because even
though you stopped your brain that's why
I
said got to hate it you got to have a
dislike for what this is that's why when
I go through the whole idea of what is
this actual medium this is not people of
any kind of decency will entertain so
don't have a fantasy about this this is
wicked and reprehensible you got to
avoid the associations you got to avoid
the companions keep away from people who
are also involved in this you got to
start doing other experiences which
build new new positive
neural Pathways and one thing about this
kind of thing is this that you know the
nature of muscle memory like I said is
that although you developed you know you
will have a withdrawal just like with
lots of drugs there withdrawal you feel
irritable discontented I want it go back
and then there's that pull back you got
to fight that because the dopamine you
want that dopamine rushing your brain
again you got to fight that and the one
thing about you know neural Pathways is
that when you stop using them you lose
them you can either use it or lose it as
they say you know uh so therefore if you
stop doing it then that pathway is still
there but it becomes dormant you know it
gets lost and and one of the important
ways is that you have to associate
watching porn with
pain with punishment of Allah subhana wa
tala with theab of Allah in this
world it is z that's and Allah says in
the Quran he doesn't just say Al Allah
says don't make Z but Allah he says in
the
do not even come close to it the zenner
of the eyes is looking and not lowering
the Gaze the Zen of the ears is
listening the Zen of the tongue is
talking indecently the Zen of the hands
is the keyboard searching for the porn
on Google that's the Z of the all of
this don't even come close you're
desensitizing yourself and it will lead
to the next stage the minor sins lead to
the major sins
the and so therefore don't even come
close to so you have to associate porn
with pain with evil with wickedness
because people if they don't associate
with pleasure then that's the so we can
reverse the process and we can you know
there is increased uh like I said uh you
know we can challenge this uh and and
one of the ways we challenge it is as I
mentioned we have to understand what is
going on as I've explained when you
understand this is what's going on with
the process it is deliberately designed
porn is deliberately designed because
they you know there's a lot of theories
which say men's Brains and obviously
women watch porn as well but the whole
issue of women watching porn is more you
know less women it's really the a male
issue men's Brains are designed to find
the female form attractive that's the
we're designed to do this and so
therefore when it's presented in this
way of course it has that dope mean Rush
when you understand how you are being
reeled in and how you are being made
made addictive to something and The
Addictive process of what's taking place
again you can start rationalizing how I
can reverse this or how I can change
this and how I can start to desensitize
and so understanding the mechanism is
very important to discard the the the
bad habits and acquire healthy habits so
we need to take a rest okay uh you know
from this uh and uh you know from
artificial stimulation this fantasy
world part of that rest is obviously
avoiding masturbation it's very
important that you avoid that because
again by doing that you know then you go
inevitably one thing will then lead to
another thing breaking the associations
substituting with the positive and this
is why alhamdulillah our Dean provides a
framework to dealing with porn addiction
because it provides a holistic framework
in which we develop the mind with the
intellect with the knowledge that we
have been given we develop the body by
maintaining the balance in the body we
develop the Soul by of Allah and
reflecting upon Allah and thinking about
the Creator our accountability before
the Creator and being aware that our
actions are before Allah and we develop
positive social networks through
Brotherhood through positive family
networks so our de provides a holistic
solution because it provides a complete
way of life which is a complete
alternative to that way of life we have
to ask why do people need this in the
first place because they have empty
lives often people with addictions have
empty lives that cause them to gravitate
towards this behavior and you know
obviously by having a complete
alternative they're able to challenge
this sincere repentance to Allah subhana
tala is a reboot process because it
replaces what you thought was pleasure
with pain you realize this was
Disobedience to Allah and your pleasure
is only to obey Allah and your
displeasure is to displease Allah
subhana wa tala so that's why you know
it's this is the rebooting now Toba as
we know has three qualities and it's all
part of your first three conditions of
the individual first you hate
it you have to have a revulsion for it
you got to abstain IM immediately not
delay the Toba not delay it but do it
straight away distance yourself from all
of the things which will pull you back
thirdly follow up a bad deed with a good
deed and it wipes it wipes it away so
this means creating new actions new
activities which create new neural
Pathways positive things in your brain
which wipe that as I said when you stop
using the bad stuff replace it with lots
layers and layers of good positive
neural pathway and where the dop
dopamine feedback mechanism is based on
motivation from doing Hass Good Deeds do
you know when you make tud and you B you
know you give up your your sleep and
afterwards you get a buzz no one's there
it's just you and your creator that's
dopamine but a positive dopamine not the
the negative dopamine that we're talking
about here so just insh also you know
just to to finish with you know as I
said our etiquet in Islam as I said ha
is half of our religion and this is
something which destroys the Allah says
in the Quran don't come close to Z as
I've mentioned so we don't even come
close to it the close to any of the
influences which are associated with it
okay and also we take pride you see a
lot of this is about peer pressure for
us Allah says in the
Quan and those who guard their Chastity
and their private parts for us our pride
comes from what it comes from being pure
for the sake of Allah subhana wa tala
you know on the street the youth the
language they use the behavior they have
they think that acceptability is by
being promiscuous by pimping themselves
out by being Loose by being people who
lose and give it up no that is dishonor
and that is disrespect that is
disrespecting Allah we need to reverse
the Paradigm where our young people
leaders of the righteous by saying no I
have pride because I protect myself from
these influences and I keep myself pure
for the sake of Allah subhanahu wa
ta'ala as I mentioned Allah says
lowering of the Gaze and I will say you
know you will not incur the respect of
your peers until they see this Noble
characteristic of you of lowering of the
gays you know uh and so this is very
important that we we have this
particular B and also just a few more
points you know as I said this whole
field of work is also about protection
and safeguarding of
women Islam is the religion which
protects the ISA of women because the
term um it comes from the root word
which means mother so we believe the
woman is the mother of a nation and
that's why we honor the mother and every
potential mother and that's why when the
prophet
said treat women with kindness you know
that's why you know we have this
honoring of women he said the best of
you in are those who are best to women
and he says I have
declared uh what is it uh inviable the
rights of two
the orphan and the women so women are to
be protected and safeguarded from these
particular evil things which are out
there in society it is for us now when I
did this research on this on on on this
particular
lecture you know um what was interesting
was that many of the sites which are out
there which are anti- porn sites anti-
porn addiction sites are actually run by
Christians Christian organizations
feminists uh you you know people who
obviously are anti- porn you know cuz
they see the evil of that I came only
across one or two Islamic sites that
were dealing with this particular
issue and they weren't even dealing with
it they would just had something on
this who are supposed to
be you know who are the ones who are
supposed to be giving this witness to
mankind who are the ones supposed to be
protecting these rights protecting
morality of society so this is a real
important campaign Jihad to fight the PE
bomb and fight the porn industry and its
corrosive and evil
reprehensible okay materials which are
going to destroy or which are destroying
society and
masculinity and we pray Ya Allah keep
our youth safe from this evil influence
and make us means to spread this
goodness to
humanity for your time and for listening
inshallah if there's any questions or in
any comments uh you know you are welcome
for raising this issue actually which is
a a real plague in our society question
I had was apologies if you answer this I
came to the talk late um but I was
curious I know you mentioned that you
counsel you've done some counseling but
um what kind of support do you have so
on a local level for brothers and
sisters because often families are
affected the sisters are also you know
often the victims of this so where can
people go to for example if you're a
drug addict it's quite easy to go to re
it's still not easy even if you're a
drug addict Subhan Allah yeah that's
right yeah but where what kind of
support network
none none that's the real I obviously as
a counselor I get my case load and and I
people who come to me you know they've
they've lived suffered in silence for
many many years it's destroyed their
lives and their fam's lives and you know
I I I find it difficult to manage the
case load people from all over the
country literally you know calling me up
and and uh you know inquiring about
these particular matters so we need to
develop capacity in our community to
deal with it one of the initiatives that
I'm involved with at the moment is that
we are and we have a session in
Leicester on the 12th of May and that is
that we are going to be training local
mentors so I come and I train about 10
or 12 people in how to do this support
work with young people in particular
there's a couple of risk issues drugs
sexual abuse gangs violence criminality
disaffection those are some of the risk
issues out there around our young people
it's not just this one this is one
amongst many issues out there and so we
need to have mentors like I said uncles
and
aunties who will provide the support for
our shabab and for our our community on
these issues uh counsel them guide them
give them befriending just help them
into so that and let me tell you it's
not rocket science most of time just
it's just someone wants to talk to
someone about this and you know most of
the kids that work they never had it I
had a case now of One 14-year-old who
was uh chronically uh masturbating
addicted to this particular material his
parents didn't know what was going on
and he committed you know he did
something quite very very bad any anyway
I'm going to go into the details of it
but I'm the first person he spoke to
about these particular issues first
person even with the young offenders
that I work with first time they've ever
sat down and had a discussion with
someone about this who's just able to
give them the kind of basic moral
lessons and and encourage them to do
what is right and not follow their peers
and be leaders and not followers as I
say so we can do something we can I'm
not going to be negative we haven't
we're not dealing with the challenge at
the moment we got to got we got to start
dealing with the challenge inshallah I'm
going to be doing this lecture across
the country alhamdulillah and uh uh you
know and our key role is that in
everywhere we're going to try to develop
as many mentors as possible who can then
provide this guidance and support to
potential addicts and potential
vulnerable people in our community Allah
give us the ability to do this insh me
you notice in your circles or your um
investigation these brothers you spoke
with the parents do they have any
restrictions on internet times you know
are parents aware the Muslim parents
that you can get package they just allow
the kids with an open mobile yes uh
internet access I don't think many
parents or obviously coming from IT
background there's certain software you
can get um you know if I have a laptop
it goes off at a particular time uh you
can actually people actually block
programs or certain access on laptops
but it's available on the router so if
they have a mobile they pick it up on
the router that's right and they can get
it on obviously there's open Wi-Fi
access City Center absolutely um so I
don't think parents are aware of this we
are not keeping up to date with the
technology and the challenges of the
technology the technology is ahead of us
and I believe you can't really you
govern you know you can put all a lot of
the uh protective software in place and
you can do that but I think ultimately
you need to educate and be role models
for your children from a very young age
that's the only way I'm dealing with a
case you know when when someone's mid-
teens really try to then put boundaries
on them then when you didn't put
boundaries on them before you know let
me give you an example that uh this is a
similar example there was a father and
you know he's one or twoy old 2-year-old
yeah he started swearing using the FW
and when he used the FW guess what they
all laugh it's think they think it's
cute he's going to prison I'll see him
in prison in 16 years time that's it you
didn't put a boundary there and now you
want to put a boundary later on I'm not
talking about people who I'm talking
about kids young kids who you allow to
go on a computer and who are not
purposely going on to these sites maybe
they might come by chance by an advert
by a click here or there no
you and and for this definitely have ad
block on all of your browsers you know
Milla Firefox ad block is very good it
takes out all of the adverts you don't
even see them and most of these adverts
like you said they have our pornographic
material don't let your children use the
internet as children unless there's a
reason for doing it why are they on
there and this is what I'm saying we are
disconnected from our children we're not
not reading books to them we're not
going out to the park with them we're
not doing activities with them we're not
talking with them we just allow them
this is the American model of just being
supervised by Xbox by TV by satellite
and all and don't bring these things
into your house that's all I can say
it's difficult but don't bring them into
your house don't bring satellite TV into
your house don't bring you know things
don't give your children mobile phones
they don't need mobile phones they don't
need smartphones you know I had an uncle
and he he told me you know smartphones
has destroyed our youth they have as a
device what it's capable you know you
can't govern the device even if you do
block on it they makes Bluetooth porn to
them and this isn't just here this all
you know in Middle East countries it was
same thing they were saying to me what
they were doing so you know your child
your children don't need mobile phones
they need them when they need them you
know when they're lateer teens and they
they need it for that reason but the key
thing is alhamdulillah by the grace of
Allah in my family you know we've
managed to avoid all of this fitt
alhamdulillah even in good families this
stuff happens you know okay by making
sure that your children are good
companions good Islamic environment core
values are there of of tawa of IM it's
embedded into them they know Rights and
Wrongs they know about respect for women
and you talk to your children about the
issues so they're aware of these ISS and
then in this is your pro protection and
the child who's gone uh astray and then
you start to put boundaries on them will
Rebel even more my experience that's
what you what ends up happening so don't
leave it too late you know there's a
very good 0 to 7 is Rah Mercy love 7 to
you know 11 you could say is your core
put strong values in there and the
learning is often parenting children
learn from imitating their primary Role
Models Mom and Dad if you are
inconsistent then that's what's going to
happen to your children and then in
their teenagers then it's just to be
asab with them good companions with them
and do things with them you know and and
continue enrichment is so important when
our children are enriched positive
activities social program sport program
recreational program they got time for
anything else educational programs
alhamdulillah our kids are isolated left
alone left to own devices and we are
being obviously so these are part of the
problems but I'm not an expert on all
the softwares alhamdulillah and I know
that one of our brothers we did run e
safety uh uh workshops for parents
before and we gave them software and
things like that perhaps aldah we can do
that it's free the software we can get
out there and we can do it but
unfortunately children who want to do
this especially on social media that's
on the pornite but children who are
addicted to Facebook have found ways to
circumvent this through their friends
and through other ways and and and
generally you know uh because the values
are not there you have to put the core
values inshallah and Iman there and then
that will police your children that's
what they will they will police
themselves rather than you police them
that's the ideal situation
insh
yeah in this Society like everyone goes
away from marriage but should we be
encouraging our children to get married
early to try and avoid all have good
relationships early on absolutely no I
totally agree with you brother
alhamdulillah you know look we are
dealing with a new challenge and if
children have to wait 20 mid 20s and all
the stuff to get married this is highly
problematic in a over sexualized Society
if children want to get married after
the age you know of 18 and they they're
ready to get married and we've given
them all the guidance and support get
them married
alhamdulillah if you don't don't this is
FNA simple we have the solution you know
it's modesty it's hijab it's marriage
it's covering of a all of these things
we have the solution you know that's why
you know we should have this you know we
see someone uncovered this you know all
the solutions are there we're not doing
we're not following them and of course
marriage is really important you know
let your children get married at your
young age don't use cultural patterns of
behavior which you know force them to
marry people they're not happy with cuz
that creates problems or you know they
have to wait till they got a job or a
house and all the materialistic things
in the late 20s and then they're
repressed so no you know let them we
should be encouraging marriage from a
young age inshallah I heard the shf
talking he saying he wanted his son at
the age of 15 16 to get married so is
that is that getting you know is that
too young not in this country you can't
do it till the age of 16 so that's
important you know we make that clear
you know what it is is that every child
is different every child is unique now
you're 16 with the consent of the
parents yeah so uh I might be wrong 16
or 18 anyway
okay yeah yeah 16 16 yeah uh and every
child is unique every child is different
some can wait till their mid 20s
alhamdulillah and some can't so you know
you have to take into that account of
each and each child needs to you see I
always say our children they need to
have what I call a comprehensive
marriage course before they're married
you know I'm not talking about 1 hour
lecture I'm talking about 3 month
minimum of on what it means to be a
married man and then afterwards we
continue to support them inshallah in
their married life and you know this is
a blessing this is a great thing in our
community that we have young people
happy married responsible bringing up
families it's a br brilliant and
beautiful thing we've gone away from
that made marriage a Jihad struggle for
our kids they can't even get married so
they're making Zena instead you know so
this is a reality we've created this fit
in un fortunately so we've got to start
to deal with the future challenges by
you know obviously looking for the
solutions which are already in our
religion okay Brothers It's time for
we'll close it
there